“People pay for what they do, and still more for what they have allowed themselves to become. And they pay for it very simply; by the lives they lead.”
― James Baldwin
Saturday, April 11, 2026
10:13am - The officers have increased harassment while I am scanning and arranging for documents to be sent to the Trust for my inheritance. I have told them that this is what I am doing.
While they are indicating that they are not increasing harassment when I use the computer, every time I use the computer they are increasing the frequency and intensity of their harassment. They are now including the use of sensations that have resulted in cutting. As I wrote the last sentence, they increased the levels of those sensations in my genital area.
9:26am - The officers are overheating me. They have said there is a system in place to indicate when I am angry and when they will increase harassment. They will not answer questions. When I ask, they increase harassment.
I also meant to state earlier that after I awoke between 11pm and 12am and there had been a lot of nicer sensations paired with unpleasant genital stimulation causing me to comment that I such pairings were problematic, the person on duty very clearly agreed with me on multiple occasions.
Every time I work on this document, harassment levels are increased and feelings are intensified.
8:58am - The officers are now saying that they are constantly bothering me so I will have to leave my home.
8:26am - The officers are once again using sensations that are difficult to tolerate paired with genital stimulation.
6:30am - The officers allowed me to go to sleep early last night, but when I woke up between 11pm and 12am they sexually assaulted me by creating the feeling that someone had inserted something into my vagina. I went back to sleep around midnight, but awoke a little after 4:00am. The officers on duty began using an electrical sensation in my body with a particular concentration in my vagina. This did not stop until I turned my light on over an hour later. The officers would not allow me to go back to sleep despite the early hour. I now feel very tired. The officers are causing me to feel sleepy and have continued to use stimulation to my vaginal area and unpleasant sensations in my upper body.
There now appears to be the use of more comfortable feelings in my upper body that seem to indicate caring or love. This is done prior to perpetrating abuses including sexual assault.
I have been clear that I do not accept any notion of caring, protection, etc. on the part of law enforcement. They are sexually abusing me without my consent. They are present and engaging with me without my consent. I refuse to accept any notion of protection or interest in my well-being. The people carrying out these crimes are abusers. My opinions on this subject will not change.
There seems to have been a minor increase in using people in my environment. For example there was a young woman of about thirty with a very masculine appearance who made a point of riding her bike against traffic to be in sight of me. It is difficult to say whether these people are related to me, but as in this case, the person seems out of place in the environment. I do not consent to the use of people in my environment or to the modification of my environment by anyone. Please feel free to communicate honestly and straightforwardly with me. Otherwise, I have to assume I am dealing with law enforcement.
The law enforcement officers I have been dealing with frequently use people dressed as homeless individuals, but they can be dressed or be anyone ranging from blind to elderly to middle aged white guys to young African-American guys dressed in casual street attire. These people will typically talk to others or on the phone in ways or about subjects that are supposed to be relevant to me. Other times, these people will simply exist in my environment or attempt to speak with me. They can range from friendly to aggressively rude and foul-mouthed. An example from North Hollywood was a white middle aged business man talking on his cell phone outside of the grocery store about a car he had bought and the issues it had. This occurred after I expressed anger about the forced sale of my car. The car he described had the same issues as mine - I.e. minor dings, worn tires, etc.
When law enforcement engages in this type of activity, I find it very stressful. Add to this the effects of sleep deprivation and stress from abuse and it can feel very disorienting and terrifying. It destroys any sense of safety.
I do not consent to the presence of law enforcement. I do not consent to any sexual activity with them. I do not consent to any medical or psychological treatment. I ask that they be removed immediately.
After writing this, I feel colder and the sexual abuse has stopped. I find this to be a good thing. However there is pressure in my head and tension in my neck and shoulders. Sexual abuse began again immediately on typing this.
Friday, April 10, 2026
2:00pm - Since writing the last post, law enforced jacked up the heat and are overheating me at a very fast and high rate. I have a tremendous headache! (Although I think they are inducing the headache as well.)
I am going to head outside for some cooler air.
However, I would like to point out that I have been trying to work on financial matters throughout the day and am in the position where I am having to make significant financial decisions. I would argue that choosing to overheat, harass, and anger me is a poor choice and one that increases liability.
As usual, I do not consent to what the harassers are doing.
1:21pm - I have been doing some thinking over the past fews days in particular about the harassers use of anger and their apparent need to continually incite anger in me.
It is my feeling that this anger is more destructive by far than any other aspect of their harassment. They seem to use it as a way of preventing depression and suicide, though for myself, I find it greater cause for depression and suicide than any other factor.
I strongly dislike that people respond to me in a manner that is likely to elicit this response when telling me that they are unable to communicate with me.
I would argue in cases like that of the Oakland Police Department Bureau of Internal Affairs, it becomes a matter of gross unprofessionalism at best. A simple statement saying that they were unable to be of assistance would have been far more honest, respectful, and appreciated.
It is for this reason that I will not accept this type of response from other as a valid response. It is hurtful and it does lasting damage. As simple response indicating the inability to meet, communicate, or complete a task would be appreciated.
Going forward I will not engage with people who facilitate this type of activity by harassers nor will I engage with such people once this period of harassment has finished.
In short, it is possible to comply with the harassers and satisfy my requests. You will need to figure out how to best manage this task. If it's clear you made the effort, I will see that and understand and be sure to cut plenty of slack where necessary.
12:51pm - The harasser agreed this morning to reduce levels if I exercised and completed other tasks. The most important task he chose was exercise. I have completed some of the tasks we discussed including exercise. Harassment continued unabated. I sat looking out of the window. Harassment increased. I reminded the harasser of our deal. He continued to increase harassment levels. I told him I was headed to the law library to do some research. Harassment levels increased substantially. I started talking with him about the fact he had gone back on his agreement. I also discussed what I felt to be a lack of consistency and integrity among the officers that do his type of work. I was calm throughout the discussion. However, he continued to increase harassment levels. The harasser is now using intense levels of sensations he knows to result in cutting. I told the harasser that it was unlikely I would go to the law library since it is pouring rain. He agreed we could work together again to get harassment levels down. I pointed out that he had not kept to his agreement earlier in the day and that I had little faith he would keep an agreement made now. He continued to increase harassment levels.
He has now decreased the most unpleasant sensations and levels as I type. However he has increased stimulation to the clitoral area. While he indicated that he wanted to work together to harassment levels down, he is now clear that he does not want to lower harassment levels and will not work with me to get them down.
I do not consent. I condemn the officers in question. I heartily recommend Why Does He Do That? Inside the Mind of Angry, Controlling Men to better understand the tactics and abuse used by these officers.
If you know or interact with one of these men, please take a moment to shame them. If you have the opportunity to do it publicly, all the better!
These are people who present themselves in one manner and act in another. They are tricky and dishonest to deal with.
10:50am - Since writing the last entry in this document, the harassers have started overheating much more. They are claiming this is to induce anxiety. However, they are simultaneously inducing a release of adrenaline and tension in my shoulders accompanied by increased clitoral stimulation. The harassers have indicated that they are knowingly causing anger and irritability by overheating me. They have also started causing headaches.
10:22am - The officers on duty are interfering with my ability to conduct business with my brokerage. This includes getting account information so I can transfer funds from my mother's trust into my position. Failure to transfer these funds will cause delays in receiving the money or even possible errors. Since all parties must return paperwork for the process to begin, these delays would extend to the bank and all heirs.
9:22am - The officers on duty forced a bowel movement. Prior to forcing a bowel movement, the officers engaged in clitoral stimulation. During the bowel movement, the officers applied stimulation to the top of my head which is something they typically do to indicate shame and sado-masochistic sexual activity.
I do not consent to any sexual activity with law enforcement. I do not consent to any medical care provided by law enforcement. Law enforcement is in violation of informed consent laws. I condemn law enforcement for engaging in these activities. As I write, officers are creating the sensation of crying around my eyes, they are applying heat signifying a threat that they will start overheating me to induce anger and irritability. They are applying additional stimulation to my clitoris.
I condemn the OPD for allowing this to occur.
8:43am - The harassers added more graffiti in the same location near my home. It is clear that UCB Extension is not involved. I would like to offer my apologies to the UCB Extension art department for suspecting their involvement. Furthermore, I would like to condemn the harassers for manipulating the situation and for altering the environment around my home. Those involved in my so-called protection in North Hollywood occasionally engaged in this sort of thing, though they did so more by using plainclothes LAPD officers in my surroundings. I would like to condemn all those involved in North Hollywood as well. I have a complete lack of respect for those engaging in such tactics.
8:21am - The officers on duty for the past 24 hours have been worse than usual. I experienced sexual abuse at bedtime after a relatively calm hour or two before bedtime. I think I awoke on my own between the hours of 1:00am and 2:00am. Abuse began more or less immediately and heat was applied through the remainder of the night. As before, the officers are attempting to simulate sexual abuse I experienced in childhood.
For the past 24 hours, the officers are also causing stress, adrenaline releases that mimic panic attacks, tearing around eyes, headaches, etc. These are feelings that I do not have that mimic feelings by activating physical responses in the body.
I would like to condemn the law enforcement officers engaging in this activity. I do not consent to their presence. I do not consent to any form of physical or psychological care they claim to provide. They are uniformly unqualified and equally incompetent. As people they are morally indigent and should be prosecuted for committing criminal acts. I realize this will not occur, but I would still like to see them shamed and held accountable for their actions.
I would also like to condemn the Oakland Police Department for allowing this to occur and for providing so little apparent support.
Thursday, April 9, 2026
6:13pm - The officers on duty this afternoon made a deal with me that they would reduce the vaginal sensation to half and would change the sensation to something less problematic than the sensations they have been using if I went to the beach in Alameda. I agreed to go and did so a little after 3:00pm. On my way home, I went to the Alameda Free Library to pick up a library card so I could use their online resources. I put the destination into my phone before leaving the beach so it would be clear to the officers on duty. (They have hacked my phone.) However, I met with significant harassment in the form of vaginal pain and stimulation at the library. The library had closed early, so I never even entered. I told the officers over the phone that I had only gone for a card as I had at other libraries and that it was closed anyway. Harassment was scaled back at that time, but became more intense again when I headed for a bridge slightly further south than the one accessible via Park. The distance was neglible, but the bridge on Park has a grated surface which is less stable and feels less safe. Upon crossing the bridge harassment again abated.
After reaching home, I notified the officers I would be eating at a local restaurant and would then visit the grocery store across the street. After I sat down to eat, the officers induced significant vaginal pain and intensified the unpleasant feeling used over the past few days to the point of pain. They additionally stimulated an adrenaline release to mimic panic. I did my best to ignore it, but it lasted several minutes. Since this time, both the pain and sensation in the vaginal area has been present albeit to a lesser degree.
I am unclear why this has occurred. It was a calm day. I exercised, did laundry, and had a quiet day. The officers on duty at this time are frequently problematic, but typically not this aggressive. However, they are claiming to be the usual people on duty.
I do not consent the presence of these officers. I condemn them for their actions. I condemn the Oakland Police Department for allowing this to occur.
12:59pm - The officers on duty have continuously applied the unpleasant sensation to my vaginal area in a very intense manner. It is very difficult to tolerate. I did laundry and ran intervals, activities which previously reduced harassment levels, but I noticed no difference. Unfortunately, the officers just applied the unpleasant sensations to my head as I typed this.
10:25am - The officers on duty just forced a bowel movement. They have confirmed that they are increasing heat levels in an attempt to overheat me and cause anger and irritability. They have also intensified unpleasant sensations on the soles of my feet and in my vagina and in my clitoris.
8:47am - I don't think people understand how difficult it is to be effectively trapped in a small apartment as a disabled person with people actively abusing you 24/7. For my part, the walls begin to close in and I lose perspective. As time has passed, this has happened more and more quickly. In times like this when levels of harassment and abuse are higher, it can become very difficult to bear.
It is hard to accept that law enforcement idly sits by while doing nothing. I appreciated the officer who dropped by yesterday and exhibited genuine concern while not talking in an oblique manner. During my time in North Hollywood, I could speak to any officer. That officer was generally aware of my situation and would respond as directly as possible to answer my questions. Officers were always available on a daily basis in the library for the general public. They too were aware of my situation and would answer questions. These seem like simple, practical steps that would be easy to implement, would cost little, and would mitigate risk and possible liability.
It is equally difficult to accept that UC Berkeley Extension not only cooperated with law enforcement but facilitated their activities. While I accept that it is their right to handle matters related to personnel as they see fit, without knowing anything more, it strikes me as highly problematic that they chose to retain the professor who attempted to extort money from me for private lessons in order to complete a certificate. It also strikes me as problematic that they would then attempt to integrate me back into that program and have me pay additional money for classes that are poor fit given my allergic and respiratory limitations. I have no doubt that there is genuine desire to help, include, and adapt on the part of some. However, I continue to have a lot of questions and doubts. To my eye, UCB Extension has never been a viable option in part for the reasons listed above, but also because they simply don't offer the support necessary for issues related to trolling, etc. nor do they have adequate services for disabled students. Both UCLA and UCSD extended education programs offer such services.
8:34am - The harassers have been continuing to use the same sensations albeit at lower levels and in a more generalized way under my skin. I have told them I will leave my home for the day if this continues. My plan is to find a place to swim to it will partially dull the sensations. Going outside is a problem for me because I am highly allergic the spring pollen season worsens to my health.
I have made it clear that these are sensations that are difficult for me to tolerate and that this is unlikely to change. Furthermore, I am very tired. As such, their choice to continue is both unnecessary and cruel.
Last night the harassers awoke me around 1:00am with tachycardia, the sensation that something had been inserted into my vagina, and a feeling of tremendous pressure in my head. This did not abate for an hour or two and it took a long time to go back to sleep. They awoke me again at 4:00am with tachycardia, heat, and the sensation of electricity running through my body and my genital area.
I would again like to condemn law enforcement for engaging in these activities. Their actions in the past 24 hours have amounted to little more than torture, abuse, and assault.
If you are aware of the people and/or department engaging in these activities, please take the extra step to publicly shame them.
Wednesday, April 8, 2026
1:52am - The people who work at night are particularly petty, vindictive, and vicious. They are typically much more abusive than the officers who work daytime or evening hours. Tonight the officers are applying the same sensations that are difficult for me to tolerate and applying them directly to my clitoris, in my vagina, and under my skin. They are making it impossible to sleep.
I would like to reiterate that these people are garbage in human form. They are abusive and operate with many of the same tactics described by Lundy Bancroft in his book, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Mind of Angry, Controlling Men. These types of people should not be able to work in law enforcement nor should these types of tactics be used by people in law enforcement, especially on people with disabilities. The use of harassment as a form of protection is unacceptable and amounts to nothing more than abuse, assault, and the violation of basic human and civil rights.
I condemn the law enforcement officers engaging in these activities. I do not consent to their presence. I do not consent to any form of medical or psychological treatment they provide nor have I ever. What is occurring is being done entirely without my consent and I have not been allowed to consult a lawyer in order to rectify the matter. Even attempts to obtain medical care and socialize with others are met with harassment and abuse.
The officers have facilitated abuse by my family who refused to honestly disclose my genetic issues and instead reported mental health issues. The officers also refused to accept genetic issues as a complete explanation and chose a course of action geared towards mental health issues. They missed a second trust fund that would have potentially provided adequate funds for me. They refused to ask for assistance from the first trust fund that almost certainly would have provided assistance in an emergency. This represents gross oversight, prejudice, and discrimnation on the part of law enforcement. They should be held accountable and disciplined accordingly. Their actions represent not only misconduct but abuse and assault on a vulnerable person.
7:16pm - A OPD officer dropped by this afternoon. He was also sent by a friend. It was a very nice and helpful conversation. Thank you to all who made it possible.
After a brief hiatus after the appearance of the OPD officer, law enforcement has started with the same sensations, this time applying them to my feet and clitoris. They are intensifying feelings whenever I use the computer. They had agreed earlier to allow me to work on sewing projects with less harassment. However, I need to purchase thread, etc. online for the projects. They are now using that as an excuse to harass and abuse.
The law enforcement officers currently involved with me are complete and utter garbage. I do not consent to their presence or interference.
5:18pm - MACRO dropped by this afternoon. It was a tremendous relief to have someone make contact with me that wasn't lying or manipulating or speaking sideways about stopping or microwaves. They were very kind and I appreciated their concern as well as the concern of the friend who sent them.
Unfortunately, the officer on duty has resumed using difficult sensations. The officers should be removed from their posts and charged with harassment and assault. I realize this will never occur. They are a great shame to law enforcement.
4:46pm - The officers on duty started using difficult sensations again. I was listening to a book on women and non-ninary people with autism. It discussed the fact that some noises, sensations, motions, etc. can be difficult to tolerate and that this often does not change regardless of the degree of exposure or therapy. The officers on duty then began using difficult sensations in the clitoral area.
I would once again like to condemn the law enforcement officers assigned to me. They are clearly not qualified to provide any form of medical or psychological treatment. They are morally indigent garbage in human form.
I do not consent. If I'm honest, I think most of the people out there reading this are cowards.
8:32am - The officers are continuing to use sensations I find very difficult to handle. I have made this clear to them. They are not listening and are continuing to not only use these sensations but concentrate them in clitoral and vaginal areas and under my skin. This has resulted in multiple bouts of cutting. The officers on duty between 7:00am and 8:00am claimed they were engaging in CBT with me. I made it very clear to them that they are not qualified to provide any form of medical or psychological treatment. As of yet, none have said they have any form of degree or licenses that might suggest qualification. Furthermore, I have not been informed as to the treatment I am receiving nor do I consent to any medical or psychological treatment provided by law enforcement.
I do not consent to the presence of law enforcement. I do not consent to any services or protection law enforcement may be providing. As stated before, I do not consent to any form of medical or psychological treatment. My civil rights are being violated. Informed consent laws is being violated. I would like this to stop immediately. I am a 51 year old disabled woman. I am not being given adequate access to medical care. In the past, medical care has been completely denied to me. What is being done to me constitutes nothing more than abuse. Any attempts I make to interact with others is met with harassment. Furthermore, attempts to leave my home for any meaningful length of time results in further abuse and harassment. Attempts to pray or listen to classical music associated with the church is also met with harassment. Not only does this violate my freedom to practice my religion, it also takes away a source of strength and comfort in a very difficult time.
I would like law enforcement to be removed immediately. A failure to do so amounts to little more than allowing the continued abuse of a disabled woman.
Tuesday, April 7, 2026
5:54pm - I managed to pass out for about an hour at most, but the officers woke me up with some of the worst tachycardia and palpitations I have ever experienced. They then created the sensation of something being inserted vaginally and anally. One day everyone will know who these people are and what they have done to me and to others. These people are human garbage.
3:40pm - The officers are now concentrating the sensation in my clitoris and head. It is very uncomfortable. I have had to start drinking to dull the discomfort.
3:15pm - The officers are continuing to use the same sensations that are difficult for me and that have resulted in cutting. They are now concentrating those sensations in my vagina and on the top of my head and intensifying the strength of those feelings.
They had previously agreed to stop using those feelings if I exercised. I did a circuit training workout for 45 minutes. They lowered levels while I exercised and increased levels soon after stopping.
I would once again like to condemn all involved both actively and on the sidelines.
I look forward to relocating and have gotten rid of most of my belongings in order to facilitate a move. I despise Oakland and its residents. I look forward to eventually renouncing my US citizenship and joining the European Union where I can enjoy better digital privacy laws and basic civil rights.
12:45pm - The officers are causing sensations that are difficult for me and which they know will likely result in cutting if they continue to expose me to these feelings for extended periods of time. I have verbally warned them that this is occurring. They have continued to expose me to these sensations and have gradually intensified them.
They did the same thing last week and it resulted in cutting. I repeatedly warned them last week over a period of hours. They did not heed my warning. I ended up cutting despite clearly stating I did not want to in order to deal with the stress associated with the sensations.
I would again like to condemn the law enforcement officers engaging in this. I do not consent to their presence or activity. I would like them to be removed immediately. I condemn the Oakland Police Department for failing to take adequate action and protect a disabled person.
10:26am - The officers on duty are engaging in sexual assault and are causing flushing, nervousness, and highly unpleasant sensations on the top of my head. They are doing this in response to the book I am listening to while I sew, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Mind of Angry, Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft. It is an excellent book about partner abuse and discusses many of the same methods used by the law enforcement officers in question.
You can find the book on Amazon and Audible.
As always, I do not consent to any involvement by law enforcement officers. The officers consider to engage in abuse and the violation of informed consent laws while the OPD sits idly by.
Monday, April 6, 2026
10:14pm - The officers on duty just awakened me with tachycardia. They have continued to sexually assault me and violate consent laws. The OPD has continued to allow this to occur.
I continue to be sorely disappointed by UC Berkeley Extension and its art department. They have continued to work with law enforcement. Their newsletters and podcasts have been nothing if not insensitive and in poor taste. I am concerned they may be engaging in similar tactics near my home:
They appear to have decided to retain the photography professor, Emmanuelle Namont Kouznetsov, who required me to pay for private lessons in order to complete their visual arts certificate. I have little respect for an art department or a school that continues to employ a professor guilty of extortion.
Saturday, April 4, 2026
1:12am - The officers on duty are overheating me again. They have clearly stated that they are aware that this makes me angry and that they are doing this in order to make me angry. They have started in the past that this is typical reaction experienced by healthty subjects. I asked whether this also had the effect of raising my blood pressure. They indicated that what they are doing does raise my blood pressure.
I would once again like to be clear that I do not consent to any form of treatment whether medical or psychological. The officers are violating informed consent laws. The officers maintain that I am angry and for this reason I am choosing to move. I would like to be clear that I will be moving irrespective of any external action or decision. This is a move that I have contemplated for some time. I visited years ago to make sure it was somewhere I would like to live. I also established care with an allergist at that time. This is not a snap decision, but one that is well-planned and thought out. I will be carrying out the move in the same manner.
Once again, I condemn the law enforcement officers for their actions. They possess no credentials or licenses as medical or mental health professionals. They are unqualified to be subjecting me to any form of healthcare, much less non-consensual care. I also condemn the Oakland Police Department for idly sitting by and dismissing my complaint without so much as a single email, letter, or phone call to better clarify my "unspecific" complaint.
Friday, April 3, 2026
6:31am - I went to bed, maybe around 1-2am and was woken with tachycardia around 4:40am. I was not allowed to go back to sleep. Unfortunately, the harassers do not allow me to sleep during the day. Although, I was allowed to sleep after allergy shots earlier this week which was appreciated. I would like to get harassment levels down today, but I've had little success doing so the past few days. There have been a lot of issues with the officers who work the late afternoon and early evening for the past week.
Thursday, April 2, 2026
[Written Friday, April 3]
Wednesday, April 1, 2026
8:33pm - Last night, things went quite badly. The officers on duty who were trying to force a bowel movement had no idea how to handle the situation when after a time I still couldn't have a bowel movement. The result was a lot of pain and straining until I finally had to manually dig out the feces until I could get a bowel movement started. At that point I wasn't capable of sitting up and I had to go while laying down in the tub. As I write this, the officers are causing feelings of arousal in my genital area, but I can assure you that was not what I felt last night. It was extremely painful, there was a lot of cramping and I couldn't stop going. The officers on duty was panicked and didn't know what to do. He kept trying to apply rectal pressure which felt horrible and made everything much worse.
The day has mostly been calm. The officers were reasonably mellow and I was able to clean and do laundry. Apparently, people on duty have decided to show they are in charge and they have started assaulting me again.
I do not consult to sexual activity with the officers. I do not consent to what is being done to me in the name of medical care. I condemn the lack of informed consent.
I condemn all involved with what is happening to me. I would like to be clear that the abuse I am suffering is far worse than anything I was forced to endure as a child. Those involved are far worse than the pedophiles I named in the Gripper document. I curse all of them. I curse all who watch and do nothing.
7:00am - James Baldwin was also born on August 2:
“People pay for what they do, and still more for what they have allowed themselves to become. And they pay for it very simply; by the lives they lead.”
― James Baldwin
2:22am - There were a lot of problems last night related to the forced bowel movement. The harassers are now causing itching in my throat so I will cough. I would like to be clear that any coughing is caused by the itch they are triggering. There have been issues with vocal cord dysfunction as of late, but I don't think aspiration is a problem. The harassers are also causing stomach pain. (This is not pelvic or abdominal pain.)
I would like to work with the harassers on reducing harassment levels.
Tuesday, March 31, 2026
7:30pm - The officers on duty continue to force a bowel movement without success despite my protests. They are also adding clitoral pain when I swear at them. What they are doing is causing a high degree of pain and discomfort. I do not consent. Those responsible for this should be criminally charged. As I type this, the officers increased the acute pain in my clitoral and vaginal areas.
6:50pm - The officers on duty have been forcing a bowel movement since I got home a bit before 4:00pm. It has resulted in abdominal pain and rectal and genital pain because my abdomen is straining to go but the bowel movement itself is not being triggered. This is what happens when I am symptomatic re: allergies or have had allergy shots - I.e. bowel movements do not occur until the following day. However, normally, I do not have a bunch of undereducated, incompetent law enforcement officers trying to force a bowel movement regardless of my capacities. This is to say that normally, it is not a problem.
The officers have continued to force a bowel movement despite my protests and telling them I am in pain. They are now exerting pressure on my rectum to try to force a bowel movement, but they are only increasing rectal and genital pain.
I would like to be clear that I have repeatedly told the harassers that I do not consent to what they are doing. The officers are in violation of informed consent laws. I would also like to state that I have never been allowed to speak to a lawyer.
I condemn the officers for their actions. I condemn all of those who sit and look on. I condemn the Oakland Police Department for allowing this to occur.
I have flushing and I feel hot. I was allowed to sleep and I am really tired.
4:01pm - The officers on duty just began sexually assaulting me. I had a full load of allergy shots earlier. (I am allergic to everything except cockroaches, dogs, and redwood trees, so it's a lot of antigens and injections!) In violation of informed consent laws, the officers have begun applying heat.
I would like to condemn not only the harassers, but also the Oakland Police Department and the University of California Berkeley Extension for their failure to respond. All involved truly disgust me.
3:48pm - The harassers engaged in sexual harassment during my time at the doctor's office.
7:18am - The officers on duty continued to expose me to high heat over night thereby once again violating informed consent laws. The are also continuing to hurt me in my own home. The officers and the Oakland Police Department should be held accountable for their actions and failure to act.
The officers have also decided to "encourage" me not to use my computer by sexually harassing me when I do so. They feel I should be engaging in activities like art that help me to process my feelings. Interestingly, they also increased harassment levels during and after my art class so as to force me to drop it. Yesterday there were mixed messages over whether they wanted me to take the art class. In the early morning, the officers told me that they did not want me to take the class. They told me that if I called the registrar and re-added the class, harassment levels would increase until I dropped it. Later in the day, the officers seemed to express that they would have liked me to take the class. However, they stated that I would continue to be harassed during the class thereby making it untenable. Unfortunately, it would appear as though my civil rights have been deprecated to the point where I cannot take a class or use a computer in my own home.
Sadly, they are further increasing harassment when I use the electronic portal to speak to my doctors. According to the FBI's web is my understanding that blocking access to medical care is forbidden:
https://www.fbi.gov/investigate/civil-rights?utm_source=chatgpt.com
The harassers have indicated that they have legal clearance to violate informed consent laws, restrict my access to a doctor, etc. I have seen no paperwork, so I cannot say. However, I find it disturbing that this can be done without a person's knowledge or consent when no crime has been committed. This is why I would like to move to France, Spain, or Portugal. To my knowledge, this cannot legally be done in those countries. They also have much stricter digital privacy laws.
Monday, March 30, 2026
3:51pm - The officers on duty just started sexually assaulting me again. I do not consent to what they are doing. I do not consent to their presence. What the officers are doing is criminal. Law enforcement officers who stand by and do nothing are no less guilty.
6:50am - The harassers admitted that they are using heat to fight inflammation. It also has the effect of making me very pent up and angry. It explains a lot. If you are able to help with this please contact law enforcement.
6:26am - Harassers awoke me at 4:41am so I could masturbate. I went out to ride my bike last night. It was fun.
The harassers also said that they had been harassing me so that I would drop my art class. They then recanted and said no they didn't want me to drop the art class. Given the timing of what occurred and the fact that they kept increasing harassment during class, I think they wanted me to drop the art class. They harass me whenever I speak to anyone. They harass me when I try to engage in social activity that isn't with them. In this respect they very much borrow from the playbook of abusive boyfriends as they have already freely admitted. They bully and isolate so they can bully and isolate more.
They also required me to see a therapist. However, they harass me for the entirety of the therapy sessions so that it's difficult to talk and hardly worth going. I reduced the frequency in the hopes that I can continue with the therapist once they've gone.
The harassers discuss wanting me to process things emotionally, but they thwart the very activities that would allow it and they won't allow me emotionally process anything in their presence. Realistically, I have no desire to process anything with them anyway. I think developing a pattern of trust and vulnerability with those who are being abusive is a very poor idea. Also, as well versed as they are in harassment and abuse, they are not qualified to handle anything else. They are not licensed mental health professionals and they continue to violate informed consent laws.
As always, I do not consent to the presence of law enforcement nor do I consent to their harassment and abuse. I would like them to leave immediately. The harasser on duty at this time is particularly vicious. He is causing severe adrenaline rushes and tachycardia. The harassers are causing physical and psychological damage. I want them to leave.
Sunday, March 29, 2026
8:12pm - I just realized that the people I've been dealing with are far worse than the people I turned in.
Here's the info on the OPD Bureau of Affairs Complaint. I've also included a link to the complaint, but I would like to be clear that the only reason I wrote the complaint was because the officers required me to write it. They were being abusive and wouldn't let me sleep. I wrote it largely to reduce harassment and stress levels. I wasn't hoping for much, but admittedly, it's still pretty hard to read. It makes perfect sense to me now that the OPD has been under federal oversight for 23 years.
https://drive.proton.me/urls/02XMDZBFMR#sJTJo65iEJnY
https://drive.proton.me/urls/C8AZ0BB5Z8#ghWvIgCPVbYi
4:22pm - The officers on duty are now trying to force a bowel movement in addition to causing acute bladder pain and urinary urgency. I am experiencing severe abdominal discomfort. The officers are now causing clitoral and vaginal stimulation in conjunction with the pain.
I would once I again like to state I do not consent to any sexual activity or medical or psychological care. Furthermore, I do not consent to any services provided by law enforcement including protection. I would like law enforcement to leave now. If this does not occur, I will file a complaint with the Citizen Review Board.
3:52pm - The new shift came on duty and started to cause acute bladder pain and urinary urgency.
1:34pm - The harssers on duty have admitted that they are continuing to overheat me in order to provoke anger and a reaction. They also use overheating to treat inflammation though I have not been outside for days other than a quick trip to the grocery store a few blocks away. They are also continuing to apply severe, acute discomfort to my clitoral area.
I do not consent to any medical or psychological treatment nor have I ever. Law enforcement continues to be in violation of informed consent laws.
I have filed a complaint with the Oakland Police Department Office of Internal Affairs, but I have had no response other than to acknowledge receipt of my complaint.
1:13pm - Harassers again increased levels of acute discomfort in the genital area in response to listening to music with a religious theme (Bach, Wagner, Britten, etc.). This also occurred the day before yesterday when the harasser explicitly said he did not like religious music and required me to turn it off. I should be able to listen to freely listen to music in my home. I should also be able to enjoy religous music and practice my religion if I choose. I have also had increased harassment levels in response to prayer.
The harasser is now stating that he is increasing harassment levels so I will eat. I am unclear how acute clitoral discomfort is supposed to stimulate my appetite. Regardless, I fail to see the legal basis on which law enforcement can dictate my lunch time.
11:46am - It has been suggested to me that at some point there will be a settlement and that I will be compensated for what has been done to me. I would like to be clear that I scoff at this suggestion. I cannot say whether any money or recompense will be offered. However, I can unequivocally state that no sum of money can repay what has been taken from me. To suggest otherwise is both insulting and gross.s
From what I can see, if money is offered, it is to make what is happening more palatable to those who sit by and observe the situation. Perhaps it might be to placate friends and family, though in my case, the harassment seems to have suited the needs and wishes of my family.
I think the pretense of humor and therapy is also meant to serve the same purpose. It creates a veneer that other law enforcement officers and the court can accept. In reality, there is no humor, only humiliation, insult, and the loss of civil rights. There is no therapy, only malpractice, violation of informed consent laws, and damage. To suggest otherwise is folly.
Those involved in what is happening to me are engaging in criminal activity. This is the reason for the money. It is a financial transaction like any other and one which I never agreed to. I spit on those who did agree to this in my stead. All of those involved should be prosecuted. This is a human rights violation.
I look forward to relocating. That anyone here thinks they have something to offer me is laughable. I have the resources I require and can arrange for myself far better opportunities among people who are not only better human beings, but better suited to work with me.
11:39am - The officer on duty agreed to decrease harassment levels if I exercised. Instead he increased levels cause an acute sensation of pain and stimulation in my genital area for the entire hour I spent trying to relax and do yoga. He did this in response to the music I chose to play. It is a collection of the music played at Queen Elizabeth's funeral. Despite the packaging, it's really good music, which aside from being an interesting arrangement of classical music for a Sunday morning, it reminds me of my mother and sitting in church services together which probably constituted the majority of time I spent sitting with her as a child. It was also a way to sit and think of her death while engaging in a relaxing activity.
After I said he had gone back on our deal and refused to decrease levels, he demonstrated a very minor decrease in symptoms unrelated to the genital sensations he had since increased. He then increased those symptoms above the original amount in addition to increasing the acute discomfort in the genital area. In short, he used my exercise and attempts to decrease levels simply as an means to continue to increase harassment levels. One could hardly expect more from a walking, talking piece of human garbage.
The harasser is now attempting to force tears rather than deal with the fact that he and his co-workers are largely responsible for why I was unable to spend time with my mother before her death. As usual, law enforcement is failing to take responsibility for falling down on the job and committing errors which are inexcusable and that largely represent their ineptitude and incapacities.
I would once again like to state that I do not wish to accept any advice or counseling from these people. They are stupid, morally corrupt, and violent. I would sooner spit on them and gladly would. They are inferior to me in every way.
I do not consent to their presence. They are violating my civil rights. They are in violation of informed consent laws. The are sexually assaulting me. I would once I again like to state that those who idly watch are equally guilty.
10:41am - The harassers are now causing urinary urgency, but I am unable to urinate. They are also causing pain around the urethra. We had problems with this in January to the point where I became unable to urinate or had a much delayed stream in addition to have chronic pain. I am currently experiencing pain when urinating. I am unclear why we are now repeating this exercise.
I would like to repeat that I would like charges brought against the officers on duty. I am disabled and they are not only violating my civil rights, but damaging my health. I should also state that there have been consistent problems with nausea as well over the past few days. The harassers have dramatically increased pain in the urethral area while I type this.
Once again, the officers on duty are harming me. I have received federal disability benefits (SSDI and Medicare) since 2005. I am afforded certain protections by law.
10:31am - The officers on duty are urging me to speak with them. When I do they continue to harass and anger me. When I become angry with them, they punish me and induce headaches and sensations associated with anger.
The harassers build drama, provoke reactions, and then use that as a pretext to punish and raise the intensity levels both of their harassment and their punishments.
The harassers are engaging in what they have been clear is a form of psychological therapy. From my point of view, it is simply another form of manipulation and abuse. Regardless, I have clearly stated that I do not consent to any form of treatment. This includes both medical and psychological treatment.
The officers are once again in violation of informed consent laws. I want law enforcement removed immediately. They are causing physical, psychological, and financial damage. Those who stand by and watch are no less guilty.
10:14am - The officers on duty began sexually harassing me. I told them what I thought about them and what they are doing. They responded with retribution and increased harassment levels.
8:42am - Over the past few days, the harassers have started forcing bowel movements again. This has been cause for acute adominal pain and cramping as well as nausea.
I do not consent to any form of medical treatment administered by law enforcement. Law enforcement is presently in violation of informed consent laws.
7:37am - The harassers are continuing with their abuse. They are clearly trying to amp things up again using the people working the night shift. The night shift workers are the worst of the officers in terms of the types of activities they engage in and the intensity of that abuse. Typically this means those on duty between 12:00am and 8:00am, but the officers on duty around 9:00pm are also quite bad and typically try to engage in some form of abuse prior to bedtime and as I go to sleep.
I would like to be clear that I do not consent to any sexual activity, protection, or medical treatment. I also do not consent to having my computer, phone, and network gateway hacked. I would also like to be clear that I would like to be allowed access to a lawyer. At present, law enforcement calls any lawyer I contact and then I receive notification from the lawyer that they cannot meet with me.
At present, I have been working with the officers to reduce harassment levels. Unfortunately, some officers are more willing to cooperate than others. Some also agree to reduce levels but do not follow through. Some officers such as those currently on duty are so abusive as to refuse to cooperate.
7:02am - The harassers on duty last night woke me for the final time a little after 4:00am. They caused the sensation that something had been inserted into my vagina while causing me to feel overheated. They also caused me to feel acute pain in the genital area. Additionally, they caused an unpleasant sensation on the top of my head. The harassers use this to indicate shame and humiliation. Typically this is paired with sexual activity to indicate they are engaging in sadomasochism.
At present, the harassers are engaging in clitoral and nipple stimulation and have created an unpleasant sensation over the entirety of my body. It is fairly intense. However, I would like to make it clear that while there is much to be ashamed about in regards to the situation, the shame is theirs, not mine. That law enforcement officers would engage in this type of activity while others look on is unconscionable. There is no excuse. This is not a matter of police misconduct. This is criminal conduct and the law enforcement officers engaging in abuse should be charged accordingly.
After writing this, the officers caused me to feel as though things were simultaneously being inserted into my mouth and vagina and the caused the sensation of crying.
Saturday, March 28, 2026
7:54pm - The harasser on duty began sexually assaulting me and applying heat several minutes ago. He is now inducing sleepiness. I was clear that I did not need heat applied. Aside from a quick trip to the grocery store to buy ice cream and cheese I have not been outside in days. I do not consent to any sexual activity or medical treatment. What is being done to me needs to stop immediately. What is being done here is criminal. My civil rights are being violated. Informed consent laws are being violated. I am being sexually assaulted. Those who stand by and watch are equally guilty.
6:58am - The harassers on duty last night after midnight were much worse than usual. I was woken up throughout the night by officers engaging in sexual harassment. (Legally, I think the correct term is harassment since there is technically no contact. However, I view it as assault because it is non-consensual sexual activity that is threatening and causes significant fear. When combined with other tactics like sleep deprivation, confusion and disorientation become significant factors. Furthermore, the officers are causing sensations that not only closely mimic touch, but also clitoral and nipple stimulation and vaginal and anal penetration. They are also doing this with the full knowledge that I have a past history of childhood sexual abuse and they are explicitly attempting to recreate the fear and terror of that abuse by using similar sensations like heat combined with sexual arousal.) Those engaged in these activities should not only be sorely ashamed of themselves, they should be punished for their misconduct. The harassment model of protection needs to be banned.
Last night, I awoke to the stimulation of my genital area and the sensation of something being inserted into my vagina. My feet were made very hot presumably as retribution for commenting on the use of heat on my feet in yesterday's entry. I awoke again somewhat later to stimulation of my genital area, including my hands. The officers engage in this activity when they want me to masturbate. I awoke a third time to the sensations of heat and something being inserted into my vagina. This alternated with the feeling of something being inserted into my rectum. Meanwhile, there was the feeling of something in my mouth. I assume the officers on duty were attempting to recreate the feeling of "getting it in both ends" while also recalling child sexual abuse. Around 5:40am I was awoken a final time when the officers triggered tachycardia. I would also like to note that as I started typing about the third incident, the officers on duty spiked stimulation to my nipples and clitoris. They then created the sensation of crying around my eyes.
I would like to condemn the officers involved in my protection. I would once again like to state that I do not consent to any sexual activity, medical care, or protection. I would like the officers engaging in these activities to be punished for their misconduct. If possible, I would like them to face criminal charges for sexual assault. For now, I have filed a complaint with the OPD's Office of Internal Affairs. I am contemplating further complaints.
My hope is that law enforcement will return to working with me to reduce harassment levels. I am currently in the position where I need to learn a fair amount about financial management, estate planning, etc. in a relatively short period of time so I can interview and select a financial advisor. I don't have the time, energy, or health to endure the crimes of law enforcement officers who appear to be little more than bored, lazy, and violent.
Friday, March 27, 2026
5:17pm - I condemn the people involved in what is happening to me. That not a single one has the willingness to step forward and address the situation is nothing short of shameful. I think that is one of the worst things about what is being done to me. It has utterly destroyed the relationships in my life. It is hard to have much faith or respect for anyone, much less for society as a whole. I can't even begin to imagine how much worse this would be if I were black or a person of color or a criminal. From what I have been told by law enforcement, these are typically the people who receive this sort of treatment.
I should also say that the harassers very much have the ability to impact mood and they have impacted mine today and over the past few days. They should be held accountable for this as well
The harassers have been clear that they are again using heat to treat inflammation, etc. Since this clearly results in increased anger and stress levels, this effectively means they are amping me up and baiting me, thereby creating a situation that will allow them to increase harassment levels and engage in further sexual assault.
I would like to clearly state that I do not consent to any medical treatment. Continuing to provide me with any form of treatment is a violation of informed consent laws. I do not consent to protection. I do not consent to the abuses perpetrated in the name of protection. I would like it to stop immediately.
Law enforcement has repeatedly demonstrated their incompetence. The presence of a second trust is evidence of this. Acceptance of my family's lies as truth is further evidence. These failures have caused damage and harm and continue to do so.
I do not understand why all of this has been allowed to occur. I can see no possible justification for it.
4:11pm - Harassment has been a bigger problem than usual today. Looking at the FBI tip page for complaints about civil rights violations by police resulted in a significant uptick in harassment. It was interesting to me that denying healthcare in was specifically listed as a violation.
I also checked out Oakland's Citizen Review Board where Oakland's Bureau of Internal Affairs stated I had the right to file a complaint. This also resulted in an increase in sexual harassment.
It will be interesting to see where all of this leads. Regardless, I have a supreme disrespect for what is being done to me. I violently disagree with it. If I have a chance to set things right, I would very much like to do so. At a minimum, I would like to know that this will never again happen to someone who is disabled.
What has happened and continues to happen here is wrong. I may be missing huge pieces of the puzzle, but for that very reason, I can say that this is a massive civil rights violation. I would argue it is a human rights violation as well since the abusers have caused suffering and damage while simultaneously and quite consciously stripping me of my ability to address the situation.
Once I have the financial piece of things better handled, I am going to the Alameda County Law Library to do some reading. If nothing else, I have learned that I know woefully little about my civil rights and how to protect them.
I also continue to look forward to relocating. I cannot abide a police force, a city, or a people who can accept this as a suitable solution for any problem. I also do not want to continue to live in an apartment where I feel I have been sexually assaulted on a regular basis. That law enforcement engaged in this activity and sat by while it occurred is unacceptable. I regret to have called Oakland my home for the past 29 years. I am deeply ashamed of what has occurred though the shame is not mine.
10:57am - Harassers are causing issues with adrenaline, heart rate increase, etc. and interfering with my ability to work and make financial plans. The harassers began stimulation to my genital area as I began writing this entry as punishment to me for publicizing their actions. They are now causing brain fog and additional adrenaline.
I condemn those who ordered this protection. I do not consent. This protection is not only unnecessary, but an abuse of power. Harassment as a form of protection is a clear civil rights violation. I look forward to taking action on this when I am able. I hope those responsible for doing this to me are publicly held accountable.
7:49am - Despite harassment in class last night, I was allowed to sleep until roughly 4:00am when I was awoken with tachycardia and an electrical sensation being applied to my genital area. I wasn't able to get back to sleep afterwards.
I have been working with the harassers to reduce harassment and stress levels. This has generally been successful. It has allowed me much needed time to straighten out my financial affairs. I hope this trend will continue, but realistically, I can be reactive and law enforcement is extremely quick to amp up harassment levels and quite slow to reduce them.
I wish I could say that my feelings towards law enforcement had changed, but they have not. The harassers try to manipulate by indicating that they care, but more often than not this too is a means of harassment such as when they make my feet feel hot to let me know they are with me be it at home, the grocery store, or the doctors office. They, as well as I, know that this is no way to express love or care. When asked, some have readily agreed that they borrow heavily from the playbooks of abusive partners.
I continue to believe that their continued presence and "protection" is both a violation of my civil rights and an abuse. My current experience with law enforcement has been as abusive if not more so than any other experience I have had in my adult life. That so much physical, psychological, and financial damage could be construed as "protection" is ridiculous. I would like this period of protection to end immediately. I do not consent to any form of protection nor have I ever. I still have no idea why this protection is being provided nor do I know when it will end.
Thursday, March 26, 2026
5:05pm - There was some static yesterday after tried discontinuing propranolol at the suggestion of the harasser working the late morning shift. The experiment proved unsuccessful and I awoke a little before 4:00am with tachycardia and palpitations due to the electrical stimulation being used for sexual harassment purposes. This, in addition to the added financial stress of ongoing "protection," resulted in a fair degree of grumpiness. The harassers and I had previously agreed to tone things down. I was given two slip-ups prior to having harassment increased. Unfortunately, the harassers did not stick to their side of the agreement and amped up their harassment efforts after only 1.5 slip-ups. I would have been disappointed, but given their general lack of integrity and propensity to lie and manipulate, I was not particularly surprised.
Today, their efforts have been marked primarily by a combination of sexual harassment and fatigue. The fatigue seems to be in anticipation of my art class tonight. Last week, I had to leave class 30 minutes early due to sleepiness and general harassment. I notified the dean of this and will do so again tonight if the problem reoccurs. I have also decided I will file a complaint with Oakland's Citizen Review Board that oversees police complaints should my harassers continue to hinder my academic progress. These classes cost a lot of money and it was frustrating to have to drop my UCSD art class due to the severe pelvic pain they caused last January. UCSD sent me a meeting request in response to information they received regarding sexual harassment/violence. Unfortunately, I have not heard back from them. It seems unfortunate that I should be facing becoming a crime statistic at yet another UC campus due to law enforcement ineptitude and abuse.
Otherwise, the past several days have been calmer than usual which is a welcome change of pace. I have been able to make progress on selecting a financial advisor and look forward to putting my personal affairs in order.
I would like to continue to express my disrespect for the protection I am receiving. I did not consent to the protection, I do not know why it is being provided, and I do not know when it will end. The harassment that accompanies this protection has caused psychological, physical, and financial harm. Furthermore, it is a violation of my civil rights. I condemn the practice of harassment as a form of protection and ask that it stop immediately.
Saturday, March 21, 2026
11:13am - As I mentioned in my last post, I didn't feel as though the night shift kept to the agreement we made. Instead, they were more irritating and prone to harassment when I woke up at various points in the night. Admittedly, the heat from the past few days was also a factor.
Stomach and abdominal pain and mild nausea have continued to be issues. Sexual harassment has been more of an issue today. I was told I could take a nap after the harassers on duty from 8am-3pm induced sleepiness. However, upon sleeping they began stimulating rapes and exposing me to significant feelings of heat. As of the time of writing this entry, I still feel as though an object has been inserted into my vagina.
I condemn what is being done to me. I do not consent to the harassers' presence or to what appears to be a violation of informed consent laws. I demand that law enforcement be removed immediately. I would once again like to point out the errors and ineptitude on the part of law enforcement in regards to my family and the second trust. I also condemn my brother, sister, and father for their lies regarding my health and their failure to inform law enforcement of all financial resources available to me.
Friday, March 20, 2026
[Written Saturday, March 21, 2026 at 10:46am] - In an effort to calm things down I have been trying to better accept what's going on as well as the fact that I am in a position that requires me to work with people I do not like who are doing things I consider to be egregiously wrong. It has not made me happy, but I admittedly like being able to sleep a bit more an not feel stressed out all the time.
Today, the harassers caused significant sleepiness in the earlier part of the day. They were clear that this was being done because I sent a complaint to the dean regarding sleepiness and sexual harassment during my art class. However, unlike other days, I was allowed to take a nap. The harassers also caused acute and severe abdominal and stomach pain and nausea nearly to the point of vomiting. They also engaged in sexual harassment including the combination of heat and sexual harassment that I associate with the abuse in North Hollywood and abuse as a child. There were also instances of sexual abuse that they paired with attempts to induce tears. I assumed it was done in a mean-spirited attempt to demonstrate that they can be as abusive as they like while making fun of the fact that it might make me sad. The night shift from 12am - 8am had agreed to calm things down more than the night before. I did not feel they adhered to their agreement though it was calmer than it had been earlier in the week.
I responded to a sexual harassment complaint from UCSD, but did not hear back. I also have not heard back from the dean of UCB Extension regarding my complaint.
As always, I do not consent to what the harassers are doing. I would like them to leave immediately. I do not respect those who cooperate or work with the harassers. I do not respect those who watch and do nothing as the harassers carry out their activities. As I learn more about the roles others have played in what has occurred, I expect to respond and judge them accordingly. I say this not in anger, but as someone who disagrees heartily with what has been done to me and who has a right to express this opinion and who will ultimately have the freedom to make their own decisions about where to live and with whom they want to interact.
Thursday, March 19, 2026
6:14am - The harasser on duty around 9:00pm last began applying heat and sexual stimulation before bedtime. The stimulation to my clitoris was much higher. However, the harasser on duty between 12:00am and 8:00pm intensified this. I awoke twice during the night with tachycardia and asked that it be turned down because both the heat and sexual stimulation were too intense and it was difficult to endure. I finally awoke a little after 4:30am with significant tachycardia. It took time for the tachycardia to finally calm down.
The harassers have been applying electrical current, but last night they switched back to heat. The result was significantly more stress and much more problematic numbers as compared with previous nights. I felt the heat was present all night, but it may have been more present in waves or may simply have affected my heart as such. Regardless, the tachycardia and stress gradually increased through the morning.
As you can see from the data below, the average heart rate was 81 bpm with a max of 127 which is very high. Normally my resting heart rate in the morning is around 66 BPM. Awakening with tachycardia is not an issue unless I sleep with too many blankets which I rarely do.
As I type this, the harasser on duty between 12:00am and 8:00am is causing significant discomfort to my heart. I feel a lot of adrenaline in my arms and there is a lot of stimulation to the top of my head. The harasser is also causing abdominal cramping that feels as though it will induce diarrhea. This is in spite of the fact that I have lost 24 pounds and now weigh 126 pounds. (I am 5' 7.5".) This is quite a bit more punishment than I usually receive for adding entries to this page.
I condemn the harassers engaging in this activity. I do not consent to their presence or anything that they are doing. They are violating my civil rights. They are doing physical, financial, and psychological harm.
Wednesday, March 18, 2026
4:33pm - Today has been a much easier day. I think getting a little more rest last night than in the previous two nights was helpful. However, it was a lousy night's sleep by anyone's standards.
You can see the heart rate reading below showing 8 hours of sleep with the usual intensification of cardiovascular stimulation towards the morning. Periods of greater activity are accompanied by tachycardia and palpitations. This is an incredibly stupid thing to do to a person the evening after they have had allergy injections. It is also arguably dangerous.
I once again would like to express my contempt for the people protecting me and for the OPD who allows it. I would also like to condemn my brother and sister for putting me in this position as well as the fact that they are unlikely to be held accountable.
I do not consent to the protection I have been given nor did I give my consent to receive any degree of protection in the past. I do not know why this is occurring nor do I know when it will end. Access to a lawyer has been curtailed. This is a violation of my civil rights. Law enforcement has also consistently violated informed consent laws. I would like this to end immediately. I continue to look forward to relocating.
Tuesday, March 17, 2026
5:52pm - The people on duty at 5:52pm are typically overly rough and generally disgusting people. For folks, I turn on crappy television programming available for free on Amazon Prime and it tones them down a bit.
I had 5 allergy shots early today. This consisted of 5 vials - trees, weeds, grasses, cat, and dust mites. I am allergic to everything except redwood trees, German cockroaches, and dogs. In short, this is a hefty dose of antigens and the end result is that I don't feel well, I overheat, and then I sleep it off.
However, the people on duty at this time will not allow me to sleep. After difficulty keeping my eyes open, I turned the crappy television programming off and tried to sleep. They immediately began stimulating my clitoris and causing tachycardia. They then started running rape simulations and inserted objects into my vagina. This caused not only tachycardia, but palpitations (harder, irregular heartbeats). I had already explained to them that increasing my heart rate after allergy injections is dangerous especially on a day with high heat. (It is 88 degrees outside and 75 degrees inside which is a lot warmer than I am accustomed to.)
For this same reason, patients are clearly told not to excercise after receiving allergy injections. Doing so can speed up the release of the antigens into the blood stream and trigger anaphylaxis. Additionally, I cannot take propranolol to slow the heart rate or reduce the feeling of adrenaline in my chest because beta blockers can block the action of epinephrine injections should anaphylaxis occur. (Beta blockers are typically not allowed in conjunction with allergy injections. I have special permission to take beta blockers, but I can't take them the day of the injection. Also, it is better if I can avoid beta blockers and use them only as needed. Because the harassers stimulate my heart every night, I now have to use them on a daily basis which is not good.)
I have explained this to the harassers who have responded that they understand and they have continued to cause tachycardia. I am now experiencing overheating and flushing.
The following was reading was taken with a Polar H10 chest strap and demonstrates an unusually high heart rate in response to the rape simulation by the harassers as I laid in bed. (My resting heart rate is typically around 66 BPM in the morning after waking.) A sitting heart rate of 96 would be quite high for me and I would not be feeling well. Below you can see an average of 93 BPM with a max of 118 BPM. You can also see the shift from clitoral stimulation to rape simulation around the 18 minute mark.
I would like to condemn the harassers' use of sexual assault. I do not consent to their presence or anything they are doing. They are violating my civil rights. They are doing psychological and financial harm. They are doing medical harm. I am unable to fully access the medical care I require as as disabled person who has been in receipt of federal disability benefits since 2004. I am not allowed adequate sleep nor am I allowed time to rest after receiving treatments. At my last weigh-in I was 126 lbs, approximately 24 pounds less than I was in October. What they are doing is dangerous and abusive. The harassers need to be removed immediately.
Monday, March 16, 2026
9:01am - The officers on duty from 8am-3pm is sexually harassing me by stimulating my clitoris.
7:15am - The officer on duty from 12am - 8am is particularly vicious, cruel, vindictive, and vengeful. I have always had a particular disliking for this officer. The officers pretended he had been fired after the first rape simulation though of course he was not. Generally speaking all of the officers have become more vicious and cruel as time has gone by. I think the problem is in large part due to to the fact that they have been able to isolate me. Like abusive partners or abusive people of any sort, they become more intense, possessive, and controlling. Isolation amplifies this and in truth, I fear being alone with them. Unfortunately, they also become more sadistic with time and isolation. I truly despise these people and everything they stand for. As I said in my last entry, they are human garbage with badges. For the night shift, this is particularly true.
At various points, it has been suggested that they are feds, Oakland Police Department officers, or Oakland Police officers who have been deputized as feds. To my mind, it doesn't matter. Garbage is garbage. If the Oakland Police Department isn't actively involved, then they are sitting by and letting this occur. In my eyes, they are no less guilty and I feel very comfortable calling them garbage as well. I look forward to relocating and hope I will ultimately be able to move to France or Spain where it is illegal for law enforcement to act in this manner. I have never been so disgusted or ill-treated by a group of people. That a state could not only allow this but carry it out is both appalling and frightening. That the officers are professing to uphold the laws of a city, state, or federal government in this manner is little more than a farce. At times, I feel as though I have lost respect for everything and everyone. This is a terrible loss and one which the officers themselves cannot begin to understand given the utter lack of respect they demonstrate both for the law and for those under their care.
Otherwise, the officers on duty last night made full use of electrical stimulation to cause tachycardia. I slept very little. The officers now begin sexual abuse the moment I go to bed. They also combined abuse with heat towards the morning to remind me of the sexual abuse I suffered as a child and the abuse I suffered in North Hollywood. They do this knowingly and purposefully.
Once again, I would like to state that I despise the people who are "protecting" me. They are doing financial, physical, and emotional harm. I do not consent to their protection. I have never consented to their protection. The officers involved and those who stand by and oberserve are walking, talking human garbage. All who stand by and watch are walking, talking human garbage. I include my family in this most of all. You can find my brother, Conway Upshur here and here. You can find my sister here. My father, Horace Neal Upshur, lives in Midlothian, Virginia in Brandermill. All lied to authorities which led to a course of action I find untenable. None will be punished. All will be able to live their lives without the slightest inconvenience. The same is true for those who protect me. This is nothing more than a day job for them. Abuse and violations of human and civil rights are routine, daily acts. They are truly walking, talking human garbage.
I tried logging on to my UCB Extension class but was sexually harassed by the officers on duty from 12am - 8am. I assume this will be a routine occurrence.
Sunday, March 15, 2026
3:43pm - I would once I again like to object to human garbage who are protecting me. This morning, the officers on duty from 12am - 8am caused acute, clawing pain in my stomach and abdomen it what felt like an effort to force GI activity in order to get me out of bed. I was awoken around 5:00am after the officers induced tachycardia as usual and was slow to rise because I was tired having stayed up to 11pm on a Saturday night.
At present, the guard on duty from 3pm - 12am is sexually harassing me by stimulating my clitoris and applying warmth to my chest. This is the same shift that typically harasses me when I try to bathe. I have removed the detachable showerhead in favor of one that I am hoping will be less likely to excite them.
I would once I again like to express my disgust and disdain for the garbage who are "protecting" me. I would also like to express my contempt for my family who lied to authorities and potentially limited the options available to me. My brother, Conway Upshur, is a practicing dentist. My sister, Katherine Upshur, is a somatic therapist. As medical professionals both should be heartily ashamed of themselves. I find it unfortunate that criminal charges can't be brought against them. I would also like to shame my father, Horace Neal Upshur, who has stood by for months as he watched his children lie to authorities and enjoyed the spectacle of my harassment and abuse. Kudos to the officers protecting me for providing him with such entertainment in his old age.
As always, I do not consent to the protection I am receiving. The officers are inappropriate and inept at best, and abusive and completely ignorant at worst. They are indeed human garbage with badges. I would like my protection to end immediately.
11:27am - The OPD officers are now giving me a headache. Oddly, if there is one thing that I normally never have issues with it is headaches. Unless I have a head cold or a sinus infection, I do not suffer from headaches. My neurologist has specifically noted this in my medical records.
10:52am - The officers on duty from 8am - 3pm has continued to stimulate the genital area, specifically my clitoris. There have been brief breaks, but otherwise, it has largely been continuous and has become painful. Additionally, the officers causing pressure in my head and discomfort in my stomach area thereby inducing emotional turmoil and a poor mood. The officers are also causing my eyes to border on tearing. Presumably, the officers are attempting to mimic grief and sadness. They seem to want me to talk with them. I have repeatedly asked them over many weeks whether they are licensed mental health or medical professionals. They have consistently answered that they are not. I would therefore like to state that I do not consent to any form of treatment by the Oakland Police Department. Furthermore, I would like to make clear that the OPD is in violation of informed consent laws.
The officers more or less required me to see a mental health professional by submitting me to increasing levels of harassment. In truth, I am more than happy to speak with a therapist and found one that I am quite happy with. However, they will not allow me to speak with her privately and they engaged in harassment during the entirety of my appointment. Furthermore, they will not allow me to speak about the abuse and harassment they are engaging in. Unlike the officers, the therapist I have selected is a licensed mental health professional capable of treating mental health problems and dealing with trauma.
I would once again like to state that the officers are in violation of informed consent laws. I do not, nor have I ever, consented to their protection. I would further like to state that the officers are monitoring all my communications and will not allow me to consult a lawyer.
I would like to condemn the OPD's treatment of me. The officers protecting me have also indicated that law enforcement put in charge of me in North Hollywood were contractors. If this is the case, I find it highly disturbing that a disabled person would be handed over to contractors presumably with less reporting and accountability than OPD officers. This may account for the abuse and poor treatment perpetrated by law enforcement in North Hollywood. I am unclear why welfare checks did not occur on the part of the OPD. It was clear during my stay that there were concerned parties observing the situation at various points, although no one intervened.
Admittedly, I developed something of a disgust during this time for those who stand by and watch others perpetrate abuses. I was told by law enforcement in North Hollywood that a third party had been called in to monitor the situation and verify that all actions were legal. I was later told by the OPD officers protecting me that the so-called observers were actually from the LAPD. However, I don't think this accounted for all observers and there were people who would rarely come by just to gawk. There was even an older man claiming to be a doctor questioning me about my reproductive history.
That this could occur to an innocent crime victim who reported crimes is unconscionable. That I am a 51 year-old disabled woman is still worse. That the Oakland Police Department could not be bothered to track down sufficient funds available to me via multiple trust funds is ridiculous. That they trusted the family members of a vulnerable person who had clearly cited issues including problematic family members and familial genetic issues is beyond absurd.
I continue to look forward to focusing on the positive, relocating, and moving on with my life. For now, I am making suitable progress on the bike given to me by maintenance. It had been locked to the fence in the parking lot for years and is fairly rusty and dirty. I have been taking it apart piece by piece, removing the rust, relubricating, and replacing parts where necessary. I am happy because it is a single speed bike just like I wanted. It also has a flip-flop hub meaning the rear wheel can be flipped making the wheel and pedals behave similarly to a BMX bike. It's a fairly simple bike which is great since I've never even changed a bike tire. Mostly, it's just nice to have something else to focus on than harassment and abuse, although both continue to occur as I work on the bike. Admittedly, it is less than usual which I much appreciated. I also decided to take the day off and enjoy a little alcohol which has helped. Tomorrow, I have to rent a car, so I will be returning to exercise as my escape and hope to hit the beach in Alameda as well if my allergies will allow it.
7:12am - I continue to express my disapproval and disgust of the Oakland Police Department. Specifically, I would like to mention the ineptitude of the officers assigned to "protect" me. The officer on duty from 12am-3pm woke me multiple times during the night before finally awakening me with electrical shocks that induced tachycardia. This is how the officers in North Hollywood would awaken me. They refused to allow me to sleep in more than 2 hour increments after my arrival and would require me to get up and exercise each time they awakened me. I would be required to workout on the park's beat up installations or would be forced to go to the tennis courts to do Tai chi. On rare occasions if they felt I was doing well they would unlock the bathroom so I could have proper access to a toilet. However, if I looked anyone in the face then access would be removed immediately or I would otherwise be punished with sound or something else. Much like the officers in North Hollywood, the officers in Oakland are rigid, abusive bullies more interested in enforcing their own policies and pursuing their own agendas than providing anything that resembles a service.
I would once again like to express my contempt for the Oakland Police Department and all of its officers. I do not consent to the protection I am being given I would like it to end immediately. The officers protecting me are little more than hacks engaging in what they term to be CBT. None of the officers are licensed medical professionals. All are in violation of informed consent laws. I feel there is also a reasonable argument to be made that they are violating my civil rights.
I have filed a complaint through internal affairs. I will post the reference number later today.
3:56am - Electrical feeling stimulation applied to genital area after first waking around 1:30am. This produced mild tachycardia. (I took propranolol prior to bedtime.) Tachycardia has been milder tonight and the previous night which I appreciate. However, heat and sexual stimulation have been higher tonight. With significant stimulation to the genital and clitoral area. Heat has been building toward the morning which may be the result of sleeping for longer or may be caused by the harassers. Stimulation to the genital area has increased while I type this and there is pain in my ear.
Saturday, March 14, 2026
[Entered on Sunday, March 13, 2026 at ~3:50am] - The officers on duty between 3pm - 12pm lied about his identity. He was not a new officers, but the usual one who works this shift. His behavior was also more inappropriate than usual during the first half of his shift with more frequent and aggressive use of sensations and stimulation of the genital area. He would stimulate my genital area and then cause my eyes to feel as though they would water or cry.
He allowed me to work on my bike for a few hours which was much appreciated, but engaged in sexual harassment again while I was trying to bathe. Harassment picked up again at bedtime. When I got upset with him, he markedly increased heat levels meaning I had to do with the problematic combination of heat and sexual stimulation the officers employ to remind me abuse I experienced as a child.
4:17pm - The officers working at this time (I think it is the 3pm-12:am), is being particularly difficult. He is causing a lot of problematic sensations that are extremely unpleasant. We have generally been using a list of things I can do to get harassment levels down and generally speaking, harassment levels during this shift have been lower. The person working now agreed to bring harassment levels down if I did the things on the list. However, after doing several of these things for over an hour, he's largely only picked up steam. Furthermore, he is not responding to questions. He is just being difficult, not answering, and increasing harassment levels.
I would like to ask that this individual not be allowed to work with me. I do not like this person and would like him removed from the team if he is going to behave in this manner. I do not consent to being in the care of this person. He acts unprofessionally and inappropriately. He is causing physical and psychological harm to me. I would like him removed immediately.
4:05pm - The harassers have been experimenting more with sensations in the genital area and over my body. It is extremely uncomfortable. I far prefer pain to the sensations they are producing. Furthermore, they combine it with emotional turmoil that doesn't feel like mine, but is uncomfortable nonetheless. It makes me extremely angry that this is being done to me.
I do not consent to either the harassment or the protection. I think it could easily be argued that what is being done to me is a violation of my civil rights. I do not consent.
2:50pm - 8am-3pm OPD harassing officers continue to be overly aggressive including genital and clitoral stimulation and harassment while attempting to visit with a friend. Harassment as usual last night, though less electrical activity used to disrupt heart during the night. Issues occurred primarily a little before 5am when I was expected to wake up for the morning.
I continue to express my contempt for the Oakland Police Department and the officers it has assigned to protect me. I do not consent to the protection that has been provided to me. They are unprofessional at best though I would argue their protection is a violation of my civil rights and therefore illegal. I have filed a complaint through internal affairs and am considering a complaint with the citizen review board. They are also incompetent to the point of being a liability risk to their own police department. Examples would be missing an entire second trust fund, failing to request funds from the first fund, and being completely duped by family members who stood to profit from having funds withheld. The same officers are also guilty of violating informed consent laws. I am highly dissatisfied with the services I have received from these officers and the Oakland Police Department in general. I would argue that their oversights result directly from ignorance and bias around disability issues. I plan to relocate sooner than I otherwise might have due to the problems this has created in my life.
Friday, March 13, 2026
9:20pm - Harassers are picking up intensity again starting yesterday. They are currently causing the feeling of electrical current in my genital area. This also causes problems with tachycardia meaning I will sleep poorly tonight. The officers on duty between 8am-3pm and 3pm-12pm have been particularly problematic today. They are causing more problems and delivering sensations that are more intense. This includes stimulation to the genital area, clitoris, and top of the head. They are also causing a very uncomfortable sensation under my skin over the entirety of my body.
3:29pm - The OPD officers are now saying they will not be leaving today.
This is my email to Jill Finlayson. I cc'd Rick Russo and Michelle McCunney
Dear Jill.
Would you please do me the great favor of telling me what is going on and what I can do to stop this.
Why is this happening? What does UC have to do with it? When will it end? Why does it have to involve such cruelty?
I do not want to be under anyone's protection.
I utterly despise these people. I cannot handle what they are doing to me. I would rather die than continue under their care.
They are incompetent as evidenced by their failure to find the second trust. Had they simply spoken to me at the outset, I could have requested money from the Trust. These people are utter garbage and I do not want anything to do with them.
These people are hurting me. They have been doing harm all along. They are effectively sexually assaulting me on a nightly basis. Why can't you help stop this?
I want this to end. Now.
Elizabeth
12:24pm - I have been told that my protection will end between 12pm and 3pm. This far, there is no sign of the protection ending. Abuse continues to be greater than normal with stimulation of the genital and clitoral areas, anal area, breasts and nipples, brain fog, fatigue and a very unpleasant feeling under the skin.
I do not consent to the protection I am receiving. The officers protecting me are violating my civil rights. I despise these officers. I find fault with the Oakland Police Department and condemn them as a whole. I look forward to relocating at my earliest convenience.
7:22am - Last night electrical stimulation began early and continued all night making it difficult to sleep. I put graphs of my heart rate below. This morning the tachycardia was combined with clitoral stimulation and the application of warmth to my entire body. This is consistent with abusive activities on the part of the officers in which they try to mimic abuse I experienced as a child. As usual, I would like to note that those officers working from 12:00am to 8:00am are particularly cruel and violent when engaging in this type of activity. The shift working from 3:00pm to 12:00am is more variable, but was more active than usual last night.
I would once I again like to express my contempt for the officers watching me. I find their behavior to be vile and out of keeping with what I would expect in a police officer. I am greatly disappointed that the Oakland Police Department would keep such men in its ranks. I look forward to relocating so I do not have to live among such people or pay taxes to support them. I would also like to state once again that I do not consent to the protection I am receiving nor the cruelty, violence, and sexual assault that I am being forced to endure.
Below you can see the tachycardia pick up as the officers increase electrical and sexual stimulation toward the morning. I took propranolol prior to bedtime.
Thursday, March 12, 2026
10:05pm - After a relatively calm week, I have made it to what is supposed to be the last night of police protection. Unfortunately, the officers on duty between 3:00pm and 12:00am have increased both the frequency and intensity of their sexual harassment over the course of the afternoon, beginning with the psychotherapy appointment they required me make. It made for a very awkward and uncomfortable therapy appointment.
I would once again like to state that I do not consent to the protection I am receiving. I find the clear violation of informed consent laws by a group of police officers foolishly attempting to provide medical care to be appalling. Furthermore, I would like to express my contempt for the so-called officers who are "protecting" me. Their efforts are little more than a violation of my civil rights.
7:17pm - The officers are causing an electrical feeling in my genital area that is disrupting my heart rate. They said they turned off whatever they have been doing tthat affects my heart earlier today. This afternoon my legs were more tired and I was short of breath returning home. However, they were also engaging in sexual harassment, so I wasn't sure what was happening.
They are saying everything will be done tomorrow. I hope this is the case, but if I am honest, I am skeptical this will ever end. The guy on duty is answering at all right now. No one will confirm or deny this is ending, but I've been asking all week and the answer is usually yes. I continue to look forward to leaving this place. I would like to put as much of this behind me as possible.
My heart is bothering me more as a type this and I feel as though I am going to have GI problems. I weighed 126 lbs. this morning. I weighed 148=150lbs in October. About 132 lbs at the beginning of January. I have been eating regularly and haven't been active the past couple of weeks. I think it has more to do with the GI, sleep, and cardiovascular problems they are causing at this point. I am 5 feet 7.5 inches tall.
Wednesday, March 11, 2026
8:51am - I spent the last two days writing a complaint for the OPD's Internal Affairs Bureau. Harassment picked up over the weekend living little alternative but to write one. I put a fair amount of time into the process, but I am concerned about submitting much of anything without having a lawyer review it. Unfortunately, access to a lawyer is still not allowed.
Otherwise, I am mostly very tired. Harassment has abated a little, but there are still issues with tachycardia, etc. I took propranolol before bedtime to reduce some of the problems caused by the harassers. However, it's clear from the graphic when tachycardia is being induced. It makes sleep difficult and of poor quality.
I am told harassment will end this week. I hope this is the case. I am getting really tired and I don't feel very good.
Monday, March 9, 2026
6:44am - The usual nighttime harassment began early around 8:00pm after I expressed needing to go to bed given the lack of sleep from the night before. At that time, clitoral stimulation began that was more intense than that usually applied. More recently, the stimulation has a more electrical feel. It also causes a rapid heartbeat which the harassing officer have confirmed. The feeling of something being inserted into my vagina began shortly thereafter. This harassment continued without stop for the entire night and is still present. However, the electrical component stopped for a short time around 5:00pm and the rapid heart beat was replaced by heat, flushing, and other uncomfortable feelings.
Below you can see a screenshot of my heart rate taken after I awoke with palpitations and tachycardia. It shows a rather high resting heart rate of 96 BPM after laying supine in bed for almost 10 minutes. Normally, my resting heart rate when I first wake up in the morning is between 60-66 BPM. When I am moving around during the day and sit for a short time before checking my resting heart rate, the result is around 72 BPM. A rate of 96 BPM is quite high and would be indicative of significant POTS symptoms due to a virus, diarrhea, etc. While I have had loose stools due to forced bowel movements by the harassers, with chronic Immodium use they occur only once a day. On it's own, I don't think this would be sufficient to cause this problem. Given the palpitations and tachycardia occur in conjunction with the electrical feeling in the genital area, I think it is almost certainly related.
I would also like to note that I took propranolol prior to taking this reading. This accounts for the falling heart rate and flatter line. I would also like to say that just because the line looks calmer does not mean that I necessarily feel better. Tachcardia and palpitations are still present and it is still very hard for me to sleep. When combined with heat and sensations related to sexual assault, it is extremely stressful and uncomfortable. Emotionally, it is very hard to take. When one considers that I have no one to talk to about these matters, it is quite oppressive.
Why are the harassers combining these elements?
When I was in North Hollywood, the people guarding me would apply high quantities of heat. I think this had some sort of effect on my immune system, because when they did this my pain levels decreased markedly and my allergy symptoms were far less. I also noted that the cats had changes in their health. One cat had a marked improvement in her chronic sinusitis and allergy-related skin issues. The other cat who suffered from chronic inflammation of her lungs from a case of lung worm in her youth no longer required an inhaler.
I strongly protested to these "treatments." They were extremely uncomfortable and would leave me drenched in sweat every night. (After returning to Oakland, there was an effort to address this which I greatly appreciated.) I told the people in North Hollywood that the heat reminded me of sleeping on a radiator as a child. I did this one winter when we lived in an old house after we moved to a new town. I had reported incidents of sexual abuse with a neighbor to my mother the previous summer. I had assumed she would help or at least talk to me, but by the time winter rolled around, it was clear that would not happen. That winter, when it was cold at night, I would wrap myself up in a blanket and sleep on the radiator next to my bed. After a point, I would just roll out of bed onto the radiator without thinking much about it. Since the house was old and I was wrapped in an old wool army blanket and sleeping on a hot radiator, I developed a lot of skin problems, especially on my back. At one point, my mother saw my back and showed it to my whole family. When they learned it was a result of sleeping on the radiator, they all laughed at me. All I can remember is that for the month of February, I cried. I cried at home. I cried at school. I did not even know why I was crying. I just couldn't stop. Once my teacher hugged me.
This is why the harassers combine heat, sensations associated with sexual assault, and tachycardia.
It is a very nasty thing to do. That my family chose to facilitate this by denying genetic issues like Ehlers-Danlos, POTS, etc. in favor of mental illness both saddens and angers me. That they also failed to inform the officers of the additional trust fund is unconscionable and to my mind, arguably criminal.
The harassers are requiring me to get a therapist, citing that this must happen before they will end their activities at the end of this week. I have a lot of concerns around this given they so clearly caused issues with the doctors in the emergency room at Stanford.
Sunday, March 8, 2026
3:24pm - I attempted to take a nap, but was kept awake by the sensation of having something inserted into my vagina. I would once I again like to express the complete an utter contempt I have for the officers who are "protecting" protecting me as well as for the Oakland Police Department who employs them. Please note, the officers engaging in this activity work the 3:00pm to 12:00am shift. They are typically less problematic than the morning shift, but have caused any number of problems in the past. They have indicated they work in a black Mazda SUV with darkly tinted windows that parks near the intersection of Athol and Wayne. Please feel free to have a word with them since the Oakland Police Department cannot be bother to so!
~8:00am - I awoke with tachycardia last night a little after 1:00am. Shortly thereafter, I developed an electrical sensation in my genital area that turned to stimulation and pain. The feeling of something being inserted into my vagina started shortly thereafter. This lasted the entire night and made it difficult to sleep. Palpitations and tachycardia necessitated the used of propranolol which is a less than ideal medication for me to be taking given issues with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. At present, it still feels as though an object has been inserted into my vagina. There is a feeling of sharp pain in the vaginal and urethral areas.
I would like to reiterate that I do not consent to the protection being provided by the Oakland Police Department regardless of whether it is under the auspices of the federal government. If this is the case, I find fault with both parties. The reality is that when the officer who carried out last night's abuses is finished working with me, he will move on to someone else. This is as much a local issue as a federal one and it is ultimately a problem with policing. I once again would like to express my profound disrespect for Oakland and its police force. I continue to look forward to relocating.
I am also concerned because yesterday I was told that my communications will continue to be monitored after my so-called protection has ended. I have been told that this is not because I have done something wrong, but because there continues to be a threat against me. I would like to state that I do not consent to having my communications monitored. The only thing I fear are the officers who are "protecting" me. They have done physical, psychological, and financial harm.
Despite the drama churned up by the police officers on duty from 12:00am to 8:00am, yesterday was a relaxed day. I was able to continue with my research on financial planning. I have read any number of books on basic money management and have a solid handle on Social Security and Medicare. I also have a rough understanding of introductory economics. However, I am much weaker on the specifics of how chronic illness affects financial planning. To address this, I found an excellent book, Estate Planning for People with a Chronic Condition or Disability. I'm hoping it will suggest other books along the way. For now, I've got another book on retirement planning and another on general investing. I am also working with ChatGPT to come up with a list of questions for the financial advisers. All in all, I should be well prepared for my upcoming conversations.
On a separate, I have been having issues with diarrhea on a daily basis. The harassing officers have insisted on forcing bowel movements every day. To deal with this I have been using Immodium which normally stops bowel movement completely. Unfortunately, it no longer seems to be as effective. Given I lost 20 pounds in the first two months of my protection which I have not gained back, diarrhea on a daily basis is a concern. My gastroenterologist also explicitly warned against the use of Immodium especially chronic use. He was clear that such would cause problems in the medium and long term. Once again, I do not consent to any medical treatment being provided by the Oakland Police Department. The OPD is violating informed consent laws and causing damage and illness in the process.
Saturday, March 7, 2026
Yesterday was a more relaxed day with the harassers which I greatly appreciated. I was finally able to do some research on financial advisors, wealth management, and brokerages. I ultimately set up informational meetings with three different Registered Investment Advisors with fee-only financial advisors legally required to act as a fiduciary. They also all offer a full range of services from investment advice to estate planning to accounting. I am clear that all decisions would need to be approved by me before action is taken. Investments would be held by a custodian like Schwab or Fidelity to create an extra safeguard.
The three firms I chose, Creative Planning, Modera Wealth Management, and Mercer Advisers, all have experience with retirees, independent adult disability planning, and high medical costs. All appeared to be excellent choices for LGBTQ+ clients, but two of the three, Modera and Mercer, offer LGBTQ+ dedicated financial services. I set up the appointments for the week of the March 16 with one appointment per day. I now have a week to collect information, develop a basic working vocabulary of investing and retirement terms, and better consider what I am looking for.
I initially set up an appointment with a firm upon the recommendation of my old accountant who was always consummately professional, but who also helped out with some tax issues after I was disabled. Unfortunately, he sold his accounting firm and is retiring, but he recommended the Registered Investment Advisor where he currently works, Earned Wealth Management. They are smaller than the firms I chose and work with a variety of people. However, they specialize in doctors and dentists operating their own practice. I don't think it will be the best fit for me, but I kept the appointment and scheduled it first so it would function as a practice run. My hope is that I will be fluent enough in the appointments to come across as capable and knowledgeable rather than a potential chump.
For now, I have subscribed to the Wall Street Journal, have selected a few books to read, and am working with Google and ChatGPT. I'm debating whether to subscribe to the Economist given I already have a New York Times subscription and have enough to read every morning.
Overall, it's exciting to be able to actually start planning for the life I want rather than being stuck in a life that could be described as difficult at best. The past four months have been so blatantly confusing as to completely stymie even the slightest effort at future planning. It is such a relief to feel that the current situation might be ending or at least winding down.
Friday, March 6, 2026
6:49am - Since there has been some questioning of my mental health history, I am providing a link to a letter I wrote my sister in 2018. In this letter, I explain my medical conditions and reference my mental health history in order to make clear that it is important to have a thorough physical exam prior to accepting a mental health diagnosis.
Letter to my sister: https://drive.proton.me/urls/P3PFHQQAW0#ZHBtzkukhfK0
6:29am - Awoken again around 3:00am with a very intense stimulation to a single point on the chest that then spread out to the arms and calves. There was also extremely intense stimulation to the clitoral and genital area and the sensation of something slowly penetrating the vagina over a period of roughly 1 hour. I managed to go back to sleep at some point, but was awoken again around 4:00am when it seemed like the entire simulation was run a second time. During the second round the harassing officers caused cramping in the abdominal area that forced a bowel movement. In conjunction with the stimulated penetration, and the simulation to my chest and nipples and head, the stimulation was very intense and painful. I would like to note that the harassers are forcing bowel movements on a daily basis. It is very uncomfortable, humiliating, and indicative of the type of people I am forced to deal with. I would once again like to express my disgust and contempt for these people and state that I do not consent to anything that they are doing.
At present, the harassers have amped up the stimulation to my chest and genital area and to the top of my head. When I tried to take a little time to pray to calm myself, the harassers affected my speech so making it more difficult and causing a lisp.
I would also like to note that the evening shift between 12:00am and 8:00am tends to be particularly vicious and abusive. This is the time period in which rapes are stimulated, tachycardia is the norm, and there is a lot of abusive behavior. Attempts to call 911 produce little in the way of results. Typically, an officer will take hours to arrive and say he can do nothing more than document the situation and provide a mental health leaflet. Unfortunately, much of the information on the leaflet is dated. There are also instances when trying to reach services through 911 or the non-emergency line that the operator is extremely rude or refuses to send anyone out. As usual, the Oakland Police Department is falling down on the job. I am extremely dissatisfied with them and am very much looking forward to relocating.
1:51am - Awoken around 12:12am with tachycardia and stimulation to the genital area, nipples, and head. Stimulation has been more intense than usual.
Thursday, March 5, 2026 - For much of yesterday, the harassers induceded feelings of stress and irritability which on top of the fatigue and sleep deprivation made it difficult to function. I spent the day in my pajamas quietly sitting at my computer, leaving only once to pick up items from the pharmacy. Life without a car continues to be difficult especially now that spring is here and I can only leave my home for limited periods of time. It is also very difficult and stressful to be home alone with the people harassing me. I would once I again like to state that I do not consent to any form of protection, therapy, or care. That which has been provided to me has caused physical and psychological damage. They only apparent cause for concern over the past four months has been the Oakland Police Department. As I write this, the harassers are attempting to induce feelings of sadness and crying. However, I would like to be clear that what I feel is anger at having my civil rights violated, being denied legal representation, and being as treated as less than others because I am disabled and queer.
Thursday, March 5, 2026
6:51am - Stimulation of the heart with the sensation of a single spot of burning on my chest and in my heart continues. It is uncomfortable to say the least. Brain fog and fatigue are also issues.
~4:50am - Awoke to tachycardia. There was stimulation of heart and pain in the genital area with a sharp electrical sensation in the heart.
Wednesday, March 4, 2026 - The officers sometimes harass me at the gym by increasing my heart rate when I use the treadmill. This occurred yesterday at the gym when I was trying to use the treadmill. The level portion shows me running at a speed of 4.5 on the treadmill. The hills and valleys are three intervals of 1 minute with two minutes of recovery in between.
Here are the more typical results I am currently getting at the gym.
Here's an example of intervals than I ran when taking propranolol. Propranolol is a beta blocker that lowers blood pressure and decreases the heart rate. I sometimes have to take propranolol to mitigate the effects of cardiovascular stimulation by the police officers. This is not ideal since I have Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. Propranolol at very low doses can be used to treat POTS, but one has to be careful because it can easily exacerbate symptoms as well.
Tuesday, March 4, 2026
8:13pm - The harassing officers also said that if I saw a psychiatrist, the psychiatrist could end the protection I was receiving. They said this was what needed to happen for it to end.
~7:15pm - The harassing officer on duty agreed that this was payback for the disclosure of the second trust fund.
6:31pm - I would also like to be clear that I simply said I had been in police protection. I spoke little regarding detail and little in the way of details was asked. Despite questions asked about crimes I had seen, the response was clearly unprofessional and did not follow any particular protocol. There were clear references to an email I wrote Brooks Wheary earlier in the day. The initial doctor tried to hide his smile when I said I wanted some food and time to rest which is what the Oakland Police officers always say when they suggest I hospitalize myself.
My mood was fine. My speech and responses were clear. My eyes were clear. Urine and blood tests were normal.
There was absolutely nothing wrong with me.
6:15pm - I went to the Stanford Medical Center emergency room yesterday.
I had previously spoken with an Oakland police officer who suggested seeing a psychiatrist in lieu of a lawyer.
He was aware that I had been having difficulty getting an appointment with a lawyer. Therefore, he suggested seeing a psychiatrist. According to the officer, a psychiatrist would have the same access to the same or similar information regarding police protection. Therefore a psychiatrist could give me information about what is going on regarding the protection.
The harassing police officers were in agreement. They too felt a psychiatrist would be able to give me more information about what is happening and encouraged a visit.
I have Medicare which makes finding a psychiatrist very challenging. I ended up going to the emergency room first in Berkeley, but they had no psychiatrist available for consult. I then tried Stanford given that is where I normally receive care and they have all my records.
Unfortunately, I walked away with a diagnosis of Delusions and Anxiety. The doctors had clearly been spoken to prior to speaking with me.
Apparently, seeing a psychiatrist in an emergency room setting is different than in a private setting and rules regarding confidentiality are different.
The harassing police officers were clearly aware of this, encouraged me to go, and fully took advantage of the situation. The Oakland Police Department including the officers who have responded to my 911 calls have been pushing mental health resources. While I appreciate the concern, it does little to address the situation as they are well aware.
I have put a lot of work into developing my medical care at Stanford over the years. It is extremely frustrating to have this work run into the ground. I feel increasingly certain that I want to move my life and medical care elsewhere.
Monday, March 2, 2026
8:53am - Intense stimulation of the genital area and top of the head accompanied by pressure inside the head and facial flushing with brain fog and sleepiness. The harassers have stated that they were up set by last night’s blog entry. I have repeatedly stated, that I would like to be left alone so I can get some work done. The harassers are clearly attempting to provoke an emotional outbursts.
7:14am - Despite some abatement here and there, harassment generally feels as though it is returning to the same pattern of behaviors and intensity as before February 28. I was told that the harassment would be less intense and that I would be given periods of time without harassment as I experienced on February 28. I am extremely tired and both the exhaustion and the stress are wearing on me physically and mentally. I having been doing my best to keep the situation calm and occupy myself around the home. I also exercised yesterday and will do so again today. If anyone is able to help support this it would be greatly appreciated.
6:44am - I was allowed somewhat better sleep last night. More to the point, the degree of harassment occurring after 2:00am was not so problematic as to prevent sleep. I awoke at 2:00am. I wasn’t particularly stressed when I awoke, but I was concerned I may not be able to get back to sleep easily. I started to repeat the Lord’s Prayer quietly to myself. For whatever reason the harassers tend to react negatively to this although during the two hour long stimulated rape last week, they allowed me to pray without further punishment. Regardless, the people on duty last not were not of the same frame of mind and began to punish me by inducing high levels of stress. They also created the sensation of something being inserted into my vagina.
More recently they have affecting my speech and inducing a lisp. They seem to find it particularly amusing to do this when I pray. Speech issues are a problem I sometimes experience as a medication side effect and it concerns me that they so readily reproduce it. Given I have neurological issues, monkeying around and using too much force and stimulation makes little sense and strikes me as a poorly considered liability.
The harassing officers have also taken to producing left sided symptoms I sometimes experience when my illnesses are poorly controlled. This includes a sensation around my left eye, the base of my skull on the left side, my left hip and pelvic area, and sometimes my left leg. I have a much stronger sensation in my left forearm and hand and a surprisingly strong tremor in my left ring finger.
Otherwise, I continue to feel exhausted and as though the harassing officers are tearing me up from the inside out. They are able to parody emotions by provoking physical symptoms. While the emotions do not feel as though they are mine, they feel quite bad nonetheless. It is also physically and mentally exhausting to have physical responses like those caused by stress induced for such a long time.
It feels as though the officers are literally attempting to wring feelings out of me regardless of whether or not they are actually present. I assume this is a botched attempt at some form of therapy. If so, I would like to repeat that at no point have any of the officers said they are licensed medical practitioners. As such I do not consent to what they are doing.
Why not call a lawyer?
I have tried calling and emailing lawyers, but I have received no responses to email or tracked postal mail. I have been able to get callbacks, but once the conversations turn to email, the lawyers disappear. I had one appointment that was inexplicably cancelled. I have also tried disability groups with little luck.
The OPD is now suggesting I talk to a psychiatrist. It is their feeling that a psychiatrist would be able to inform me about what is going on and would be able to provide some assistance in stopping the harassment I am receiving.
Otherwise, I brought it to the attention of the OPD that there is a second trust on my father’s side. This is a much smaller trust, but I have had little luck contacting the bank to get any information. I have never seen the trust agreement, but it would have been nice to know whether it might have been of some help at the time I was forced to sell my car.
Sunday, March 1, 2026
8:57pm - As I stated in my earlier entry, the harassers are once again increasing intensity. As soon as I went to bed, the harasser began stimulating the clitoral and genital area as well as the breasts. They also stimulated my heart leading to a feeling of adrenaline.
~7:00pm - I had been hoping for a quiet day like yesterday and while it hasn’t been as bad as before, it already feels as though it is creeping towards more physical and psychological intensity and damage.
I am at home and more or less stuck inside at this point. As much as there is joking around about what is going on, the simple fact remains that what is occurring with the technology used on me is abusive and a violation of my civil rights. I think this is something that is sorely in need of being addressed especially in light of the errors and oversights of those investigating the situation.
Sleep was poorer than the night before. I was awakened by severe heat, adrenaline, and tachycardia maybe around 3:00am. This continued roughly every 1-2 hours making it difficult for me to sleep.
With that said, I was able to get some cleaning done around the house. However, I don’t like being here and I am physically uncomfortable and pyschologically stressed. The technology used hurts and it is doing damage. I also don’t like feeling isolated and alone with the people who are hurting me. I’ve been trying to keep calm, distracted, and busy which helps considerably. I’ve also been trying to keep interactions with the harassers objective and comparatively light to what they were before. I assume this will fall apart rapidly as usual given the increasing intensity of day-to-day interactions on their part.
Otherwise, a couple of emails arrived from the UCB Extension art department. I both laughed and appreciated the thought. However, at this time, I don’t feel as though the situation is conducive to taking an art class or formally being around people given how uncomfortable I am in my home. A similar effort through UCSD Extension failed miserably. (There were issues in the first meeting and the harassers administered acute, severe pelvic pain at the beginning of the second. I logged off at that time and did not return.) It ends up costing a lot of money at a time when things are potentially tight. (Let me remind everyone, I just spent around $200 for a poor night’s sleep in West Sacramento.) With all that said, the courses on financial management and retirement offered in April look promising.
As usual, I do not consent to the protection I am being given nor do I consent to the care or therapies being provided. I am a capable person. I appreciate the effort being made by others, but admittedly remain frustrated and afraid. Tomorrow I will continue to work on finding a psychiatrist and will likely look for a therapist as well. I have been told I can work on financial matters again, so I will likely start to get caught up on my bookkeeping and budgeting as well.
Saturday, February 28, 2026
2:32pm - I returned from Sacramento around 10:00am. I ended up sleeping in my bed, but with a lot of high heat being applied. It varied throughout the night. I was allowed to sleep unlike the previous two nights, but sleeping for more than an hour or two at a time was difficult.
After returning home, it is clear that the trip irritated my nose and issues with post-nasal drip. My cough is slightly worse. At around $200, it was also a lot of money to spend to go to West Sacramento, do laundry, and sleep badly. On a more positive note, there has been less activity from the harassers which is always appreciated.
Clitoral stimulation has been too intense at times. More disturbingly, feelings of sleepiness are induced when I try to use my computer. This is even more true if I am working on this blog. Unpleasant feelings under the skin and on the skin have been more of an issue and can be challenging. The feeling of sun on my skin is now very unpleasant given all the overheating and heat exposure. The sensation is simply too similar. Abdominal cramping and inducing bowel movements has also continued. I would like to mention that I have had tests demonstrating a slow transit time. This is common for people with Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos. I have made the harassers aware of this. They also have access to the results of testing in my medical records which they stole. Therefore, it could easily be argued that increasing transit time is an effort to administer a medical treatment.
I continue to express my lack of consent for the protection I have been given and the so-called medical and psychological therapies that have been administered.
Friday, February 27, 2026
8:58pm - Intense heat applied to torso as soon as lay down to sleep. Forced to sleep on the laminate floor. Intense heat then applied while on the floor in addition to stimulation of the genital area and pain in ear. It would seem as though the exact same pattern of harassment is present in Sacramento as in Oakland.
I would also like to point out that the officers are applying heat to my chest and back because they want to treat issues I have with a cold, a cough, and post-nasal drip in conjunction with minor dysphagia. I had a minor cough around dinner time, but have been clear otherwise. The officers protecting me are not medical professionals. There has been no informed consent. As before, I do not consent to being treated for a medical condition by the OPD or with any method or technology of which I have not been properly informed. I also don’t think it is appropriate to use a method that severely impairs the ability to sleep and which induces tachycardia.
8:50pm - Heat on legs became much more intense like last night.
8:14pm - I left around 3:00pm or so for Sacramento largely so I could get some sleep. The officer with whom I spoke at 8:10am told me that I could go to Sacramento and not be harassed. Unfortunately, this was not the case.
I was harassed on the way to Sacramento while I was driving. This included pain to the head which was more intense than usual, enough so to produce a unique headache that emanated from a single point on the top of the head. There were also sensations associated with a degree of emotional turmoil which I simply wasn’t mine. Pain and stimulation in the genital area was intense. I clearly stated that the harassers were being too intense and needed to tone it down. I was also clear that if harassment that significantly interrupted my sleep or made me feel unsafe occurred at night, I would simply return home.
After I stopped for coffee, harassment included the application of heat, though it was admittedly lighter than usual. I continued to experience head pain, bowel discomfort, pain and stimulation in the genital area, and stimulation to the area around my heart that produced minor tachycardia. There was also stimulation of my chest. The same continued after arriving at the hotel in Sacramento and while I did laundry, etc. I continued to talk to the harassers and they continued to respond as usual. However, generally speaking, interactions have been much less amped up than usual which is much appreciated.
As I turned on my computer to write this entry, heat was applied to my feet and calves that was more intense than earlier. Pain in the head and genital areas are also more intense. While I am using the hotel network, it is not password protected meaning that the harassing officers can easily access it. My computer, most notably the microphone, has also been hacked. I easily speak with the harassers by typing and speaking.
After speaking to the computer to document what is going on and turning on my computer to complete this entry, heat was applied to my pelvic area. When asking why this was being done, heat was applied to my feet, my genital area was stimulated and a pain went through my ear.
8:10am - I just spoke with an OPD officer rather than a CATT team. He was both very helpful and polite which was much appreciated.
7:12am - An officer came to the scene after I called the OPD non-emergency line to report problems with the harassers. He was able to document the situation with the information I provided him. He suggested I call in the morning for a CATT team to provide a medical assessment. I made this call around 6:30am this morning. The request is pending. The harassers allowed me to sleep from roughly 3:00am to 5:30am. I am very tired, but managing. My cold seems to be improving, but it is very hard to tell given that symptoms are being masked. I know this because they have briefly decreased the heat on two occasions this morning. Generally, the harassers are continuing to overheat me. This occurs when I use the computer, call the police, attempt to manage my financial affairs, or try to sleep or rest. The overheating or stimulation also seems to induce nervousness and tachycardia which is uncomfortable.
I have been continuing to look for a lawyer, but I have had little luck. As I mentioned the other day, the meeting I had for today was inexplicably cancelled. Given my physical health issues (Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos, Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, and severe environmental allergies that may constitute a mast cell disorder), the stress of the situation, and the infringements on my civil rights caused by the harassment and lack of informed consent, I would like a lawyer or advocate of my own choosing.
1:24am - The harassers are not allowing me to sleep. Anytime I lay down in bed they overheat me and apply pain and stimulation to the clitoral, vaginal, and urethral areas. As soon as I drift off they jolt me awake with tachycardia.
Thursday, February 26, 2026
Last night, the harassers stimulated a very slow rape with high heat over the course of two or more hours. It was extremely stressful and left me feeling sleepless and dazed this morning.
2:41pm - I have managed to get some rest this morning and spent an hour or two talking with my father and brother. I had some excellent conversations with both which was a nice change from the past few days. It definitely left me in a much brighter state of mind. We also had some nice talks about financial planning which proved very helpful. I have started making inquiries. I am also going to start doing some reading. I have done plenty of reading in the past about day to day tasks like budgeting, basic investing (mutual funds), etc. I have also spent quite a bit of time learning double entry bookkeeping and completed the QuickBooks series of classes on Coursera. I was working on learning the finer points of Excel as an upgrade from Apple Numbers and Google Sheets, but was interrupted last fall.
Interestingly, the harassers started causing me to overheat as soon as I left a message for my brother and then continued through the conversation with my father with spikes when I discussed financial planning. This is consistent with their refusal to allow me to balance books with YNAB or do any sort of budgeting or money management. The minute I start, so does the harassment!
Otherwise, my appointment with a lawyer for tomorrow was inexplicably cancelled. I had an appointment and made a payment. Then I suddenly received an email stating the appointment had been cancelled with no reason given.
3:15pm - I wrote my uncle regarding financial planning advice and asked for suggestions about specific resources. I also inquired asked for referrals from the trust officer who has overseen my family's Trust for many years. In addition to speaking with my father and brother, I feel as though I have made good progress. Unfortunately, the harassers are continuing to overheat me.
7:58pm - I had a nice afternoon at the beach in Alameda. I managed to catch up with one friend on the phone and will say a quick hello to another. On a more unpleasant note, I did not receive the warning emails from the bank letting me know my account was overdrawn. I had been wondering why I hadn’t gotten a warning emails, so I logged in and verified was overdrawn as I had suspected. It was easy to remedy with a quick transfer. I made a quick credit card payment as well since the harassers harass me whenever I do any sort of money management including accounting and budgeting. Better safe than sorry.
11:18pm - The harassers are not allowing me to sleep. They are overheating me. I asked if they were trying to have me placed under a conservatureship and the response was yes.
Wednesday, February 25, 2026
It is currently 8:17am. I was awakened around 4:00am - 4:30am with tachycardia and extremely high heat. (As I type this, there is a sharp pain on the top of my head and pain in my ear.) There was sporadic stimulation to my genital area that was too intense. At one point there was the sensation of something being inserted into my vagina. (As I type this, there is the feeling of pins pricking my genital area.)
It is possible I have a cold. Last night the police claimed they are inducing overheating to deal with this problem. At one point, they decreased the heat and I could feel all of the aches and pains associated with being sick. After 5-10 minutes, the police restarted the sensation of overheating and the pain disappeared. I should note that I checked my temperature and it registered 98.3 degrees. Despite a normal body temperature, no exertion, and an ambient temperature of 66.4 degrees, I am experiencing significant facial flushing.
I would also like to note that the overheating has been consistent for days and grew more severe last night after I stated multiple times to the police that I did not consent to what they were doing and that I wanted them to stop. They are not medically licensed to treat people for physical or mental illnesses. Additionally, I suffer from multiple rare medical conditions including Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, and severe environmental allergies that resemble a Mast Cell Activation Disorder. I require a team of medical specialists. Currently, access to my specialists is severely limited. In North Hollywood, I was given no access to medical care.
I also explained that the police had violated informed consent by failing to fully explain any treatment in advance including the risks, benefits, and alternatives. The police disagreed and told me that my legal status is such that it is not illegal for them to provide medical care. Since the police have not informed me of my legal status or my legal rights, I cannot refute this
The police have indicated that they will leave at the end of this month which constitutes 60 days since my arrival back in Oakland. However, they have not provided this information in person or in writing. Earlier today around 8:15am they indicated that they will no longer be leaving.
Furthermore, the police had indicated that I am currently represented by a lawyer and would be represented by Celia McGuiness once their protection ends. I received confirmation from Celia McGuiness yesterday that she does not represent me.
I very much want my police “protection” to leave. I once again would like to state that I do not consent to any form of physical or psychological treatment provided by the police. Furthermore, I do not consent to the protection they claim to be providing. I find it highly inappropriate that the police are attempting to provide medical care to me given I suffer from multiple rare medical conditions. Furthermore, the police are blocking access to the specialist care provided by my doctors. I am continuing to document this situation.
Monday, February 23, 2026
It is currently 11:25pm. I awoke to high heat and genital stimulation at roughly 10:30pm. It felt as though something had been inserted into my vagina.
I got up and started packing some boxes. I ordered some additional tape and packing paper. I didn’t realize how small the small boxes are until I started filling them. I still need to cull my belongs a bit more, but it should be doable.
My profound disrespect for the Oakland Police Department continues.
Once again, I would like to state that I do not consent to protection by the Oakland Police Department. Their protection is little more than abuse and is therefore entirely inappropriate, especially when considering I am a disabled person. I would once again like to restate my lack of consent and inform the OPD that I am documenting their behavior.
------
It is currently 9:40am. The police did not allow me to sleep last night. They have once again begun to combine heat with sexual arousal and pain in the vaginal and clitoral areas at night.
At present they are using much stronger stimulation and pain than usual to my clitoris. My breasts and nipples are also being stimulated. There is also a very unpleasant feeling of stimulation and arousal under my skin and a very strong but similar feeling being applied to the top of my head. This is the same sensation that was present when I sent you emails on February 10, 11, and 13 when I was desperate and asking for someone to do something.
The aggressiveness of the harassment decreased after my emails. However, the aggressiveness, frequency, and intensity has been increasing over the past few days. The sensations being caused are very unpleasant and it is very difficult to think clearly. Additionally, the police harassing me have told me that my harassment will end on February 28. I don't know whether this is true or whether this is also simply part of the harassment. Regardless, the harassment seems to be stepping up as part of this.
I would like to ask that action be taken or that the appropriate authorities be informed. I would also like to note that I have tried setting up appointments with my medical providers, but have experienced significant harassment and intimidation. This included intense microwave-based heat during a hacked/monitored video visit and having sleep induced while crossing the Dumbarton Bridge during foul weather. More information can be found on https://elizabethupshur.com in the February 23 entry.
Out of concern for my own safety, I have set up a daily check-in via voicemail with my brother. However, I am concerned this may be insufficient given his job and family obligations. I asked if I might stay with him for a bit. However, he was clear he lacked the space.
Friday, February 13, 2026
At 12:13am, I had to remove my tampon due to pain induced by the harassers. Requests for harassment to stop were ignored. Pelvic pain and clitoral pain were also applied. Flow was heavier than usual and blood was fresh.
At 12:24am, moderate to severe pain was applied to clitoris on urethral area. I requested that the harassers stop so I could sleep, but my requests were ignored. Heat and brain fog were applied to the head as was anal itching and genital simulation. At 12:27am, brain fog, pain, and itching increased.
At 2:35am, I awoke with tachycardia caused by extremely high heat from the microwave device. Sexual arousal in the genital and vaginal area was being applied. It felt like a rape which is a method frequently used by my harassers because it reminds of sexual abuse experienced as a child. Requests to stop were ignored. At 2:55am pain and heat were still the same.
At 3:00am, the heat again intensified as did the sexual stimulation to the clitoris. When I asked if the harasser was trying to recreate the experience of childhood abuse, the harassers responded with a yes. I said I needed a therapist. The harassers responded with extremely high heat and made me feel very tired. The heat was difficult to endure but I couldn't help but fall back to sleep.
At 5am I again woke to tachycardia, high heat, and brain fog. It was very hard to stay awake. The harassers increased arousal to simulate assault. It was very hard to get up to write notes. Brain fog increased markedly when writing notes. I asked if this had also been done last night as I could vaguely remember it. The harassers responded with a yes. Heat was very high but the harassers refused to turn it down. The heat increased again when I talked about a therapist.
Today I feel awful. The heat has had a very bad effect. When they do this to me, it fills me with rage which they know. I want to die. I cannot think straight. I feel panicked and as though I want to die. I have no one willing to be of assistance. I do not have a phone I can safely use. I do not have a computer I can safely use. The suggestion that a therapist would be of assistance with this situation is ludicrous.
I cannot handle having these people in my body. I have neurological issues that cause sensory sensitivities. I see everything and hear everything and feel everything all at once. I have to be very careful during everyday life not to get overwhelmed. I cannot handle having my body stimulated, especially in ways that feel violating, humiliating, and completely overstimulating. I am utterly exhausted and I cannot handle much more. I am trying, but I am simply not wired for this type of thing. This has a lot to do with why I am normally so well behaved and quiet. I know I cannot handle more!
I feel desperate and I do not want to continue to live in this area. I am deeply disappointed with the Oakland Police Department, the University, and my family. Sometimes I even feel disgusted, but there is also a part of me that sometimes understand what is going on. Unfortunately, these periods are getting shorter and I forget them completely. During these times, I do not understand how everyone could allow this to happen to me. I think what others found to be humorous for me felt humiliating, callous, nerve-wracking, and at times cruel. I feel very bitter, angry, and self-destructive. I am not this kind of person and I cannot handle these feelings. I need calm, quiet, courteousness, and kindness.
I want to relocate to Cleveland where I can get medical care and live quietly while applying for a long term visa to live abroad. Spain and France have better privacy laws and what has occurred here could not legally occur there. Furthermore, policing is saner. It is also possible I can get the medical care I require since a new Xolair biosimilar drug is currently being released that might work well for me..
I also don't understand what has happened here. I was told at one point that my name was given to the Department of Education by the university and there were concerns of violence against me. I have seen nothing to indicate this. I would like to know if this is true.
I would again like to restate that what is being done to me is entirely inappropriate for someone like me. My civil rights are being violated. I do not consent to what the Oakland Police Department is doing to me. I do not want any form of protection afforded by them. I will continue to document problems as they occur. I don't want problems, but I simply cannot handle this.
Thursday, February 12, 2026
[Composed from handwritten notes on February 12, 2026]
I awoke around 2:30am. Sexual arousal of the genital area and heat from a microwave device were present and as usual, automatically increased shortly after awakening. (The harassers appear to be monitoring for changes in breathing and movement.) The harassers then acutely concentrated on a single point on the clitoris which was extremely unpleasant. The sensation was still present at 3:20am and since I was unable to sleep, I read aloud from Man's Search for Meaning. As I read, the harassers fluctuated heat, clitoral and ano-genital pain, headaches, and brain fog. Pelvic discomfort and pain was also applied, but not as severely as the night before. At 4:10am, I stopped reading, told the harassers very clearly that I did not consent to what they were doing, and tried to sleep again.
Around 9:00am, the harassers again began applying rectal pressure and pelvic pain to induce a bowel movement. At the time, I was walking back and forth to the laundromat and I finally had to turn around for fear that I would involuntarily have a bowel movement. The harasser apparently saw me turn around and stimulated my clitoris presumably to signal that his efforts had been successful. He then triggered significant abdominal cramping that forced me to double over in pain. My neighbor appeared, so I did my best to straighten up in order to have a conversation with her. The harasser induced clitoral and and head pain while I spoke to her, but did not induce further abdominal cramping. When I went back to my apartment, cramping and rectal pressure resumed. Around 10:30am, I told the harassers I was going to the library to use the computer since they typically weren't free in the afternoon. I explained that years before, I had issues with fecal incontinence due to my health issues and while it was both painful and humiliating, I knew how to handle it. I also attempted to explain that what he was doing was dangerous because it could easily cause lightheadedness and syncope. The harasser acknowledged that he knew this and continued applying rectal pressure and inducing cramping. I started to walk to the library, but had to return home due to concerns about involuntarily defecating. Cramping and rectal pressure continued after I returned home. Around 11:15am, I explained that I had issues with rectal, uterine, and bladder prolapse. I had also told this to the harassers working the 3:00pm to 12:00am shift the night before. I also stated that while organ rupture was typically associated with Vascular Ehlers-Danlos, it could also occur with the hypermobile type. (To the best of my knowledge, the heart is most commonly affected, but the bowels are also vulnerable.) The harassers paused his activities briefly before resuming pelvic discomfort and rectal pressure. When changing my tampon, it was clear that my period was significantly heavier than usual. Given chronic health problems and my age, my periods are typically quite light and short. Heavier periods can be associated with lightheadedness and fatigue.
I was concerned that the harassers could be inducing problems in order to keep me at home and prevent access to a computer thereby disallowing the updating of this document. I told the harassers I was going to the library and that they had no right to interfere with access to a computer. I informed them I would take Immodium, wear an adult diaper, and buy some wipes in order to deal with any accidents they might cause. At this point, the harassers appeared to back off somewhat. However, there was continued harassment on the bus, at the library, and as I write this document. It strikes me as highly problematic that I am attempting to document and inform of problems involving the very people who have hacked the library system and are watching me type this document.
I would like to reiterate that I do not consent to the harassment in the guise of "protection" being forced upon me by the Oakland Police Department. The Oakland Police have consistently caused harm, including psychological, physical, and financial damage. It is my opinion that the care and protection they have afforded me is entirely inappropriate for a disabled person. Furthermore, I believe their actions are effectively and quite illegally stripping me of my civil rights. After roughly 3-4 months, I still do not feel as though I know why any of this is occurring. Misinformation, lying, and manipulation are so commonplace as to make any statement by the police utterly worthless. They have hacked my computers and phone, continue to monitor all my communications and conversations, and have clearly stated that they will do everything within their power to prevent access to a lawyer. To date, I have seen no evidence of a threat against me. From the very beginning, my only fear has been of the Oakland Police Force. Given the damage done, these fears appear to have been well-justified.
I would again like to state that I do not consent do the protection and harassment being carried out by the Oakland Police Department. I find it completely inappropriate and I would like it to stop immediately.
[Composed from handwritten notes on February 13, 2026]
At 7:35pm I asked for pain in the genital area to be decreased because it was very uncomfortable. The harassers increased the pain. I had considerable pain after removing my tampon. Pain increased after removing my tampon. At 7:48pm the harassers increased the pain. At 8:14 I had pain in my head and pain in my genital area. At 8:31 the harassers induced a moderate headache from my shoulders into my head. At 8:45pm, I left my apartment to get away from the harassers. I took the 1T to the San Leandro BART. I took the BART to Lake Merritt and walked. During this time I was followed by multiple people.
At 10:51pm there was harassment to the genital area while trying to bathe. At 11:21pm heat was applied and pain was applied to the top of my head when I documented the problem. Sexual arousal was increased. At 11:55am, I experienced sexual harassment as I was trying to go to sleep.
Wednesday, February 11, 2026
I had more problems than usual with sexual harassment when trying to go to sleep last night including clitoral stimulation and pain. I ultimately ended up going walking to the beach in Alameda. It was mostly just somewhere to walk more than anything else, but it took a few hours. The harassers were angry about it, but I am of the opinion that if you are going to harass someone you have to be prepared to take the flack in whatever form it comes. After returning home, I was allowed to go to sleep, but not for very long. The harasser turned the microwave heat on high leaving me overheated, flushed, and in a lot of pain. I got up and threw out more stuff and continued trying to rest and throw out more stuff through the morning. It was something of an emotionally fraught morning, though I am feeling a little better now. I plan to work more on preparing the apartment for a move, but I have no definite plans and hope to wait until I have a lawyer and a better understanding of the situation before I make a decision. From a medical standpoint, Cleveland makes the most sense for a temporary move. Otherwise, the microwave heat has been pretty bad throughout the morning. My period started. I suspect the pain in the pelvic area used last night likely contributed. As usual, the OPD is demonstrating they have hacked the Oakland Public Library's computer network while I type this message.
[Composed from handwritten notes on February 12, 2026]
At roughly 1:50pm, I told the OPD that I would not be speaking to them unless strictly necessary and that I would be taking notes on all activities. At that time, pressure was being applied to a single point on the top of my head. It was extremely painful. Heat had been applied to my legs on the way home. Heat was applied to my torso at 1:51pm and was uncomfortable. I asked if I would be allowed to sleep if I ate and was told that I would. I went to a nearby restaurant, but vaginal stimulation began as soon as I sat down to eat food. I got up from the table and left immediately. It was 2:09pm. Heat was applied to my feet on leaving the restaurant. Heat was then applied to my torso on entering my apartment at roughly 2:15pm. Clitoral stimulation also began at this time. At 2:35pm, the heat applied to my torso dissipated, but heat was applied to my feet at 3:10pm. At 3:25pm, as a gesture of goodwill, I told the harassers that I where I would be going for dinner.
At 7:09pm, abdominal cramping including the stomach area began as I was walking home after dinner. The pain was atypical and felt as though it was being caused by the harassers. Bouts of pain increasingly became more intense until I felt as though I would double up. However, I did not want to show pain because I was afraid of encouraging future attacks by the harassers. I ultimately felt very lightheaded and had to lie down in the tub. This is something that I rarely do when I have severe GI upset and am unable to remain upright on the toilet due to lightheadedness. Headaches were also being induced by the harassers. I was eventually able to stand, but abdominal cramping and lightheadedness forced me to sit on the edge of the tub and put my head down between my legs. I urinated in the tub. I then got into bed where the harasser continued causing cramping, clitoral pain, and pain on the top of my head. Eventually, the harasser chose to focus on putting pressure on a specific area in the rectum and kept pressure on that spot until he forced a bowel movement. Prior to the bowel movement, I was able to lie down again in the tub which helped with the cramping and lightheadedness. The experience was both very painful and humiliating. My period had started earlier in the day and was heavier than usual likely due to the cramping caused by the harassers. This may well have contributed to the lightheadedness. When I told the harasser I would document and report what had happened, he responded with clitoral stimulation. This incident had the effect of making it clear to me why there had been so many problems and abuses over the past four months during my time with the Oakland Police Department.
At 9:45pm, pelvic and clitoral pain continued to be applied. I noticed significantly more bleeding than usual during my bath which included both a heavier flow and fresher blood. At 11:15pm, clitoral and genital stimulation continued to be applied as was heat whenever I attempted to put on a fleece jacket to keep warm. I also experienced a feeling of sickness in my head and brain fog. I was afraid to go to sleep given issues with the same harasser the night before. I remained awake until 12:00am when the shift changed. I likely went to bed around 12:30am.
There have been errors with syncing and saving as I write this document. There has also been harassment which strongly suggests the harassers have hacked the Berkeley Public Library Central Branch wired computers. Harassment includes pain on the top of my head and genital stimulation.
Tuesday, February 10, 2026
Awakened at approximately 12:20am by pelvic pain induced by the harasser who came on duty at 12:00am. I told the harasser there had been vaginal bleeding the day before due to the pelvic pain he induced. He agreed that he knew this had occurred and continued to cause pelvic pain for another hour or so as he had on February 8. He said he was punishing me for peeing in the road at the intersection of Athol and Wayne. He then woke me up around 5am which is part of the punishment and sleep deprivation he likes to practice. I sang a bunch of crappy songs and did my best to verbally abuse him. I also read aloud from Man's Search for Meaning. The harasser used this as an opportunity to stimulate my genital area, particularly my clitoris. The stimulation was both strong and constant. He also added brain fog. I told him he was attempting to simulate sexual assault and he agreed. He ultimately caused enough brain fog that I was unable to stay awake. When I awoke I was verbally abusive again and had a drink of hard liquor.
While walking to the library there was a older woman wearing black like me who asked me for money. She did not look like the usual homeless person asking for money as she was clean, reasonably nicely dressed, and well spoken. While it is impossible to know whether this was related to the harassers, it was a tactic commonly used by the people who kept me in North Hollywood. There was also a parked fire engine and another fire engine passed me as I walked to the library. Once again, this was a tactic used in North Hollywood though typically there were multiple trucks with sirens blaring. There was also an instance when a cop posing as a homeless person brought an elderly homeless man suffering from incontinence to lie to me about how he had lost all of his money attempting to sue the police. The use of actual homeless people in North Hollywood was not the norm but definitely occurred and was always similarly cruel.
While typing this document there has been continued evidence of hacking of the Oakland Library Central Branch's public computers.
I am now finishing this document at night. I have not re-read it and I am sure there are many errors. The harasser on duty from 3:00pm to 12:00am applied acute pain to my pelvic area on the left side. This is the same area that caused me to scream over the weekend. He started this as I took the bus to Berkeley at 5:00pm. As I write this he is applying pain to my right pelvic area and my left thigh. He has been applying acute pain to the top of my head for 30 minutes. I am using a wired computer at the Berkeley Public Library. Previously, it did not seem as though the harassers could see the contents of my documents when I typed on a wired computer, only on a library laptop using wi-fi.
I hate what is being done to me. I cannot live in a place or a country with laws that allow this behavior. I do not understand how people can know this is happening to me and do nothing. I want very badly to leave. A part of me very much wants to die.
Monday, February 9, 2026
Pelvic pain was present upon awakening. Nausea followed within the hour. I noticed light bleeding from my vagina around 11:00am. The harassers continued hacking the Oakland Public Library Central branch and induced significant brain fog in order to disrupt my work on this document. After tracking my laptop due to be delivered that day, FedEx showed it had already been delivered. The package was not present when I checked it after the reported delivery date. The harassers indicated that they had stolen the laptop from the delivery location. They had previously stolen security cameras that they had required me purchase. Therefore their assertions seemed plausible. I walked a couple of miles to the delivery location and found the laptop had been delivered and that the date on the FedEx website was incorrect. Because of persistent problems with hacking, I kept the laptop in the box and decided not to boot it until I have legal documentation showing the harassers are gone. I went to the Berkeley Public Library Central Branch to continue working on this document since I had used all of my time in the Oakland library system. While there was no evidence of hacking while I worked on the wired public computers, there was clear evidence of hacking when I used the laptops with wi-fi. I then sent documents to lawyers from the Berkeley Central Post Office. I then returned home, purchasing liquor along the way. I urinated on the street in front of where the harassers may have indicated they were parked the previous night. I started drinking on this night largely because 2-3 weeks of alcohol use seemed preferable to 2-3 weeks of benzodiazepine use. I got rid of a lot more stuff. I couldn't see how I could continue to stay in my apartment or continue to live in a place where people would let this happen.
Sunday, February 8, 2026
The harassers consistently applied pelvic pain throughout the day and night. Additionally there was the typical use of anogenital stimulation especially of the clitoral area. In retaliation, I reduced my medications. As usual, the harassers hacked the computers at the Central Branch of the Oakland Public Library while I worked on this document. I walked a lot during the day to avoid being at home with the abusers. I increased my use of benzodiazepines when I was at home to deal with stress caused by the abusers. During the night I woke up after the harasser working the night shift applied pelvic pain. I spent about three hours between roughly 2:00am and 5:00am walking around Oakland and Jack London Square. I went back to sleep after returning home and was allowed to sleep until almost 8:00am.
Saturday, February 7, 2026
I took the 1T to around High Street before turning around. I walked a little here and there, but mostly stuck to the 1T. I ultimately returned to downtown Oakland where I went to my usual cafe. I then returned home. I increased my use of benzodiazepines prior to bedtime, though I was still within the prescribed norms. I awoke around 12:20am with severe pelvic pain. The harasser fluctuated the pain levels sometimes making it much worse. At one point I was screaming. The harasser continued causing pelvic pain until around 1:00am or so.
Friday, February 6, 2026
On Friday morning I woke up and everything seemed okay, but then it went wrong as soon as the sexual arousal and so forth started as usual. I kept asking if my computer had been hacked. I no longer remember exactly what happened. I cut the top of my right leg. I destroyed computer with the same mallet I used to destroy my phone. I couldn't deal with the hacking or losing my privacy or my ability to simply have my own computer without having someone use it to hurt and screw with me. At some point I went to the library and wrote letters to lawyers. I left the names of the lawyers off of the letters to maintain some privacy. I did not send the letters. Later that day I increased the frequency of my benzodiazepine use, but it was still within the prescribed guidelines.
Thursday, February 5, 2026
As usual, I began the day by verbally harassing my harassers and singing offensive, off-key songs. Given the harassers engage in everything from to sexual abuse to hacking to theft, it seems fair enough that they should also have to take a dose of their own medicine, with the understanding that I have neither the manpower nor the technology to return the abuse in quantity or in kind. That afternoon, I went to a cafe to use the internet since the harassers have hacked my home network. Apparently, one of the harassers took offense to my verbal harassment and used the opportunity to hack the cafe network and prevent me from joining. I tried using my phone as a hotspot, but was unable to connect to my phone as I had the day prior at Peets. It was clear that the phone had been hacked. I tried moving to a different cafe, but they had no wi-fi network. I tried connecting my computer to the phone again, but it once again failed to connect and it was clear this was due to hacking. I then walked home and destroyed the phone. I chose to do this because the phone had increasingly become more a tool of harassment than a phone. The microphone served a listening device for the harassers whenever the phone was on. Additionally, there were problems with phone hacking in North Hollywood that prompted a suicide attempt. I asked the harasser if he was aware of this and if this was what prompted his hacking of my phone. He agreed on both counts that this was the case and that he had done it to maximize harm because my singing had hurt his feelings. Without a phone, I have no means of contacting anyone, calling 911 if I have a medical problem, or obtaining 2fa codes to access websites like the Squarespace website I use to update people about my current health and situation.
I was extremely tired and sad after the destruction of my phone. It brought back a lot of sadness and hopelessness from my time in North Hollywood. I spoke some to the harasser on duty from 3pm to 12am. He told me a lot of lies about my situation, a settlement, and so on. After eating dinner, I told him I knew he had been lying to me and I left to go to a cafe in downtown Oakland as usual. Upon arrival at the cafe, I saw what appeared to be a homeless man outside. He seemed to be under extreme duress, repeatedly screaming that he needed tin foil. Because he was so stressed and loud, I unthinkingly offered to get him tin foil from inside the cafe. Upon talking to the people at the counter, I was told that they had already given him tin foil. I then realized that the homeless man was planted by the harasser in order to be abusive towards me. The harassers had sent me four boxes of aluminum foil as well as a cat toy wand with feathers when I first arrived in Oakland. They had done this because they planned to sexually harass me and thought it would be fun to first send the toys and then tell me aluminum foil would block the signals causing sexual arousal. (I threw the aluminum foil away without trying it, so honestly I cannot say whether it would have worked, but I assume it would have only made me look more like a fool.) The homeless man then came into the cafe to thank the people working at the counter. He was clearly not under any duress. I do not know whether he was actually homeless or an addict. It was extremely common in Los Angeles for police to pose as homeless people and addicts. The man in Oakland had hair that was in bad condition, but he did no smell, so it could have gone either way.
I was very angry about the prank and it reminded me of how the Oakland police sometimes used genuinely homeless people in Los Angeles. I kept asking the harasser if they had hacked my computer. The harasser replied that they had. I wanted very badly to get even with the harasser and started heading toward the an area south of Jack London Square where I had found some peace in the past. However, a part of me also wanted to kill myself. I simply wanted to walk out into the water both to get even with the harasser and not to have to continue enduring my time with the police. I told this to the harasser. I kept asking if he had hacked my computer. To my knowledge, he made no effort to intervene. It was hard getting direct access to the water. I had to jump a chain link fence and there were a lot of slippery rocks and sandbags to negotiate. I ended up cutting up my feet and falling in before I made it very far. However, the water was cold and it helped dissipate some of the sexual arousal being caused by the harasser. After sitting in the water for some time, I returned to the shore, dressed, and climbed back up on the wall. At some point a boat passed shining a light on the shore. Eventually, I was able to find a spot where I could get back over the chain link fence and I returned home. I started increasing my use of benzodiazepines on this night to try to relax and get some sleep.
Wednesday, February 4, 2026
I walked to Peets Coffee on Lakeshore in Oakland. I spent a few hours there during which time the harassers demonstrated that they could hack Peet's network and knock me off. However, I was able to use my phone as a hotspot and regain access to the internet. I then walked to the pharmacy near Farmer Joe's in Fruitvale. I then walked to Foothill before returning home. It was a very long walk but I felt much better afterwards and it lasted into the next morning. During this time, I decided to cancel all medical appointments for the remainder of my time with the harassers. This included Xolair injections and allergy injections. Stress and allergy injections are a very bad combination and stress can aggravate reactions to the injections. I also don't like be treated differently at the doctor's office though I recognize the doctor must protect the rights and privacy of the clinic and the other patients. Partly out of anger, I made the decision to reduce my medications in order to provoke symptoms and make the situation more difficult for the harassers.
Tuesday, February 3, 2026
I rented a car to travel to Menlo Park to receive my Xolair injections and allergy shots. The staff stated they would be placing me in a different room than usual. They took me to a room at the end of the rooms being used in order to better isolate me. Presumably this was being done because my phone and possibly my computer were being used a listening devices. Because the technologies in use are unknown and the clinic has a duty to protect the rights of other patients, I fully understand the clinic's position and am in agreement with them. Nonetheless, it felt quite bad to be singled out and isolated when receiving medical care. After returning to Oakland and finishing the paperwork required for returning the rental car, I had significant issues with my phone. It did not seem to be able to handle facial recognition nor would it accept my passwords consistently. I was unable to get a pickup from Uber. This presented substantial issues because I had just received all 5 allergy shots and additional exposure to allergens has worsened reactions in the past. I used the microphone on the speaker to yell at the harasser regarding the malfunctioning of my phone and the problems it presented. I did not receive a response. I walked to the nearest cafe and sat until closing and then continued walking home via downtown Oakland. I stopped at another cafe along the way. I settled down somewhat, but remained very angry as I strongly suspected that the harassers had caused issues with the phone. Because the harassers have a strong history of causing issues with my phone it seemed entirely possible.
Monday, February 2, 2026
My Bitwarden account which holds all of my passwords showed a log entry clearly demonstrating access to my account on November 4, 2025. My iPhone was hacked prior to my departure from home on October 31, 2025. I attempted to reinstall the operating system, but this bricked the phone. My computer was hacked in the days leading up to October 31, 2026 and was rendered inoperable by hackers on October 31, 2026. I left the computer in a dumpster as I left Oakland. I spent that night in a cheap motel in Soledad without computer access and in the following days I was forced to live in my car in Compton where I was subjected to directed noise that was so painful as to cause crying, memory loss, and time distortion. I had no access to a computer until arriving in North Hollywood. Due to stress and sleep deprivation, I am unclear how much time passed before my arrival in North Hollywood. I recall telling a police officer that maybe I had been away from home for a week. In reality, I think I may have been in North Hollywood for as much as two weeks. In hindsight, I think I may have spent around 10-14 days between Compton, San Diego, and Mexico. Regardless, at no point could I have accessed the Bitwarden account. Additionally, the account requires the use of a Yubikey for access. All three Yubikeys were in my possession. However, I frequently noticed that the people controlling me would go through my possessions and take things when I wasn't present. I assume this must have happened with one of the Yubikeys - i.e. it disappeared and then reappeared on my keychain. I think this is also what happened with my car key before the sale was finally forced in order to trick me into thinking I might get my car back and gain my compliance. Once someone has access to a Bitwarden vault it is trivial to download or move the contents to another vault.
Sunday, February 1, 2026
During the middle of the night the harasser on duty during the 12am to 8am accosted me sexually while I was trying to sleep. I was clear I did not want to engage in any sexual activity, but the sexual activity continued. I asked the following morning whether this was a two part attack in which heat during sleep and sexual abuse were carried out over two shifts in order to replicate abuse the harassers are aware I experienced as a child while making it difficult to attribute to a single harassers. I was told that this was the case. I was later told that this was part of retribution for the content of my correspondence with Derek Gripper on the part of the Oakland Police Department. This deeply upset me and made me extremely angry. I started singing off-key, dirty, insulting songs to the harassers and Oakland Police Department around this time. I renewed my efforts to get rid of more of my possessions. I no longer bother to donate or post on Freecycle. I dump everything in the trash. When the harassers sexually harass me I look for expensive items to throw in the trash. This generally puts an end to their sexual harassment.
Saturday, January 31, 2026
Harassment as usual during the day including sexual stimulation of the anogenital area. During the afternoon/evening shift that lasts from 3pm to 12am, the harassers subjected me to such strong brain fog that I was unable to stay awake. During that time he subjected me to high levels of heat from microwaves. I tried to awaken at various points but was forced back to sleep. I do not know how long this lasted. I am guessing that it may have been a couple hours in duration. It was dark outside. I was extremely groggy and hot on awakening. As I write this, the harasser is causing me to experience brain fog. I am writing this document on a computer at the Central branch of the Oakland Public Library. Presumably, the harassers now have access to the computers in the library system. This also occurred in North Hollywood. After my sessions, someone would check my browser history. If anything related to UC Berkeley was found then I would be punished with the use of fire engine sirens at night, sleep deprivation, loud noise directed at my tent for hours or days, heat from a microwave directed-energy device that would cause excessive sweating, tachycardia, and sleeplessness, or harassment during the day from LAPD officers posing as homeless people.
Friday, January 30, 2026
Harassment as usual. I did not feel well due to the shots the day before. I was very angry in general and at the harassers, the Oakland Police Department, and the University of California for the damage they have done to my health and the progress I was able to make on my medical treatment. It took me over nine years to build up to maintenance on my allergy shots. The university and police blew this progress away without a second thought or even asking my for my opinion or permission. I continued to get rid of things.
Thursday, January 29, 2026
I went to an appointment with my allergist. There was some harassment while driving there and back, but less than before. The doctor had to leave her phone outside of the room. The doctor informed me that I would be dropped back by 12 shots. This is a considerable drop. I will also have to receive all five shots simultaneously rather than two or three at a time as I did before. This means I will consistently get quite sick after having the shots. I will no longer have the protection I require from the shots this spring and will likely also lack protection this summer as it will take me time to get back to the maintenance dose. The doctor wanted me to come twice a week, but the cost of a twice weekly car rental is prohibitive. It would also mean being sick at least four days a week. This is not possible give the harassers cause significant stress during and after the shots which puts me at risk and makes me feel sicker. I decided to go to Menlo Park for shots on a once weekly basis. I received all five shots and was quite sick afterwards.